Being on the web live can be nerve-wracking

Those of you know me know that I hate speaking in public.  I'm not even that comfortable with a few people in a room, especially if I don't know them well.  So when I was told that we were having an information session for the MVR3 Vocational Rehabilitation M.Ed cohort that's being administered by our office, I was understandably a bit nervous.  Especially when told that it was going to be a webcast as well!  Me, on camera?  The camera that adds 10 pounds to an already large frame?  Gulp!

We've never done this before, so it was experimental on all of our parts.  We spent an hour beforehand making sure all of the equipment worked, that it worked with Horizon Wimba (the program we were using for the webcast).  Doing sound checks of the microphone to make sure it was being picked up in Wimba, that sort of thing.  We had a bit of trouble getting the camera to work, but we finally got that worked out as well.

We were still working out a couple of the issues when our three potential applicants arrived, but they were very nice and accommodating.  It was a bit more disconcerting that at least one person was logged into the chat on the Net while we were still getting things sorted out, but that went fine too.  We ended up with three in the room and four online, which wasn't bad for a first time.

So we finally get everything started, the graduate advisor for the program shows up, and we center the camera on both of us.  Yes, both of us.  We may change that in future webcasts, but in the meantime, it was pointing at us both.  And did I mention that the computer was projecting on to the screen in front of us?  Yes, the chat was on the screen, along with the camera view.  I was getting a good look at myself.  I was not exactly happy about that.  And the grad advisor started talking...and talking...and talking.

I don't hold that against her, as it was her very first information session.  And in a regular information session, that would have been fine. But here I am, on camera and sitting next to her, and not talking for at least 20 minutes.  Not wanting to do anything embarrassing, not wanting to fidget too much.  I have no idea what to do when I'm on camera and not talking.  Her microphone kept on dipping because the stand wasn't holding it up well, so I did have to reach over and raise it a couple of times.  But what then?  I looked at the camera, looked to one side at one of the attendees, then to the other side and the other two.  Looked at the grad advisor, looked back at the camera.  I was really starting to get nervous.

Then it finally came my turn to talk, and I did ok.  I felt like I was fumbling words, heading down sentences that suddenly didn't have an end, having to backtrack because I forgot something. And I even had notes this time!  I felt like an idiot, actually.  But I made it through and they didn't have any questions, so I guess that was a good thing.  We had it set up so those watching online could ask questions too if they wanted. Maybe they just wanted to let me off the hook. :)

Everybody said I did great, but I don't feel like I did.  I do, however, feel like I will do better next time, if there is one.  We'll just have to see.

Anyway, congratulations to all of the people in my office who made it possible, including our director who did a great job facilitating things.  The microphones worked out well and everybody could hear, so that's a good thing.  The video was kind of low-res (which is probably a boon in my case), but that's not bad.  Sadly for you (and happily for me), I don't think there's anywhere that you can go look at it.  At least not yet.

So my first time being broadcast on the web.  I survived.  May even do it again.

But I think each time, my knees will knock together.