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August 3, 2011

Would you like a little something extra with your donut?

There's nothing like a little sex in the parking lot of a Dunkin' Donuts at 2:00 am to keep you going at night.

Not that I know this for a fact, of course. But I'm sure some guys in New Jersey must be thinking that.

According to the Gothamist, Melissa Redmond was arrested by police for turning tricks out of her job at the local Donut establishment.

And maybe a little hot coffee on the side? Or maybe it comes with sprinkles?

According to the Gothamist:
A six-week police investigation called "extra sugar" in New Jersey has allegedly turned up a prostitute working an interesting corner: the drive-through window at a Dunkin' Donuts on Route 46. Last week Police arrested 29-year-old Melissa Redmond for offering Dunkin' customers a secret menu that puts the one at In-N-Out to shame.
Allegedly, she was offering to supersize (sorry, i'll stop the fast food puns...soon) certain customers' orders when they came to the drive-through window.

An anonymous tipster told police about it, and I'm sure there was a mad rush to be on the investigative team. ("From fast food puns to stereotype jokes? Please don't stop." - The Peanut Gallery). Detective Sgt. Kyle Schwarzmann was the lucky winner and staked out the place.

Allegedly, Redmond would go out to customers' cars. Sometimes they'd drive away; other times, they'd stay in the parking lot. Encounters could last up to 15 minutes, and Schwarzmann apparently saw money change hands a few times, though obviously he couldn't see exactly what was going on without being too obvious. So they sent in somebody undercover, who she eventually propositioned, and she was promptly arrested.

This woman worked the overnight shift at the donut shop, and was evidently a very good worker (I'm sure not many of the customers complained!).

But what does it say about the place that an employee can disappear for up to 15 minutes, I assume multiple times a night (though the story doesn't say, so maybe it was only once a night?), and not have somebody say "hey, where's Melissa at?" And leaving the restaurant to go out to the car? Are late-night car deliveries regular enough not to be commented on? Somebody had to see her go out there eventually.

Of course, picking a donut shop is probably not the smartest thing anyway. Even if it's just for the coffee (how many places are open 24 hours that serve good coffee, for those cops on late night rounds?), you have to think that the police would be around eventually.

This story just seems really odd, and I don't know what to make of it. There's no grand statement about society here, other than maybe another entry in the "dumb criminals" listings.

I want to hear the story when it comes out that somebody woman is turning tricks out of the local police station.

This one is almost as bad, or at least as likely to have been caught.

(Thanks to a friend of mine for sending me this story)


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