One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 31)

Your eyes do not deceive you. You didn't have too much to drink at last night's party and are waking up to find something so unimaginable that you want to start drinking again. You are not in some parallel universe where somebody finally follows through on something they promised to do almost three months ago.

Ok, that last is true, except that you're not in the Bizarro universe or anything.

(Thanks to io9)

Before I tell you our tale of woe, let me introduce this concept to our new readers, including someone whose name I will not divulge (so she can deny it later, once she's read this, of course). We are counting down the list of the one-hit wonders of the 2000s, song by song, and making hilarious fun of them. For the most part.

(Note: That last sentence applied to both the "hilarious" and the "making fun" part of that statement.)

We here at One-Hit Wonder Inc have been taking an unscheduled hiatus since our previous episode, just when it was time to end the show! There is one episode left in the One-Hit Wonders of the 2000s, but certain things came up that had to be taken care of before we could finish.

(Thanks to Zazzle)

This kept all of us here at the company extremely busy. Especially this guy.

(Thanks to Telemarketing From Home)

Actually, we were basically all out partying while he fixed everything up (idle hands are the devil's stepchildren! Or...something like that). But the ladies in the office occasionally stopped by to make sure he had some downtime.

(Thanks to IGN's High Horse blog)

Sorry, that was when the IRS agents showed up.

They certainly look like happy employees, don't they?

Anyway, we're back, for the final episode of the One-Hit Wonders of the 2000s!

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here.

And you know what? I don't care if you go look ahead, because this is the last episode. In fact, I care about that as much as this guy cares about getting the chicks.

And here we go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 30)

We're undergoing a few changes here at One-Hit Wonder Inc, in preparation for the fact that our very reason for existence is going away soon.

When one-hit wonders are no more, what use is a company devoted to one-hit wonders? And even worse, what will the interns do for a job when we're done here?

Should they start a car wash fund-raiser?

(Thanks to Squidoo)

They appear to be a bit unclear on the concept, both in location and the fact that you don't make money in a car wash without boobs!

So really, they're a bit too...I don't want to say anything bad, but "stupid" to really make it on their own.

I really am a benevolent master...I mean, CEO, you know. I even provide benefits!

(Thanks to Nelson Carpenter)

Just look at the fun they're having during their 15 minute lunch. Though you know, they really should spend that time eating, since eating at your desk isn't allowed.

Silly ladies.

Anyway, we'll have this place shipshape in no time, since the end of days is coming fast!

In the meantime, we have a decade to finish! Welcome to the one-hit wonders of the 2000s. We're entering 2009, and I have a sense of foreboding, a rock-hard pit in my stomach, wondering what this final year will hold for us.

Or that could be the 20 cupcakes I had at 2:00 am this morning.

As usual, you can find the list of songs here.

Don't get ahead of me and go look, though. Or my staff may have to "deal" with you.

(Thanks to Coding in Paradise)

And no, you're not the one with the stick.

Here we go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 29)

It's been over a month since an edition of the one-hit wonders has been posted. Lots has happened in that time period too.

I'm a month older, for one thing.

Where have I been? I've been off on vacation! A fabulous month of sun, beach, sand, and the occasional red meat meal.

(Thanks to the Coventry Telegraph)

I have to admit that I'm a bit tired after all that fun and frolic.

So, did you miss me? I think the interns in the office did. This was their reaction when I came back.

(Thanks to Runner's World)

I'm not quite sure why.

Anyway, it's time to get back into the swing of things. I haven't heard any bad music in a month! We should probably get started and rectify that.

Welcome to episode 29 of the one-hit wonders of the 2000s! We here at One-Hit Wonder Inc work tirelessly to entertain you.

(Thanks to Ferdy on Films)

Whoops! That's from my OSHA file. How did that get in there?

As usual, you can find the link I'm taking these from here.

Here we go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s - Short Hiatus

Just wanted to let everybody know that I'm taking a break from the regular music posts. Just a couple of weeks.

I know, I know. I said that missing them would put me off of ever doing them again.

But we're going away for 10 days starting tomorrow, and I just wasn't up to it today. We'll still be gone next Sunday, so that's out too.

I will be back in two weeks, though! To finish up the last three or four episodes.

And then I don't know what the hell I'm going to do.

Y'all haven't been that forthcoming with ideas. :P

I may be posting on the road, so the blog itself won't be taking a break (at least no more so than usual). But these posts take a lot of time, and I just won't have it.

Maybe I'll make up for the humour deficiency by doing a couple of "Disturbed" posts.

Either way, your wait won't be too long.

Brave heart!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 28)

It's Father's Day here at One-Hit Wonder Inc, and we like to give our slaves...um, I mean interns a chance to be with their dads on this special day.

(Thanks to Florida Sons of Beach Hockey)

Hey, is that my intern from Boston talking to those guys? I wonder what they could be talking about?

Anyway, I like to think that these 20-30 minutes are the best of the year for them and their dads. They get to maintain that special bond that's developed over the years.

It's not like they have much time on any other day.

And that's why I'm the number 1 Boss.

(Thanks to HazzardNet)

Ok, number 2, maybe.

We all want what's best from our dads, even more so on this very important day. Some of us want our dads to come support us when we join the theater, giving us valuable insight into our performance.

(Thanks to Cast and Mend)

And others want our dads to support us through our sports endeavours.

(Thanks to Thin Line Between Stupid & Clever)

Or how about supporting your bad music? Because that's why we're here, you know.

Welcome to this week's episode of the one-hit wonders of the 2000s. I won't be making the usual "pre-game" jokes and everything, because I already droned on long enough about this stupid "Dad" thing. In this era of conservationism, one must save as many electronic bytes as one can, you know.

We shouldn't be wasting them.

As usual, you can find the list I've taken these from here. Don't jump ahead of me (not that there's much left to jump ahead of), because if you do, Dad will get very angry.

(Thanks to The Shark Guys)

Here we go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 27)

It's hard to believe, but we're starting to wind down the decade here at One Hit Wonder Inc. There are only six more episodes left before we get to the end of the decade!

I've started thinking about what's coming next.

(Thanks to the Daily Mail)

No, no kiddie music!

(Thanks to Coopernundrums)

Too bad, kid.

Anyway, while I'm thinking, I'm going to throw it out to you, dear reader (and not so dear readers, but not to those of you who hate me because I'm beautiful).

What would you like to see in a weekly music show? Nothing before the 80s, as there have to be videos or something I can post on here. There also has to be a site or list somewhere that I can take them from. In other words, I can't do the Top 10 hits of Joe Pesci or anything like that.



(Warning: Language)

So get your thinking caps on! We've got 6 weeks (maybe 7, as I may take a one-week break) before I need to do something!

Or I can just let the whole thing go.



Ok, ok!!! I will come up with something.

I don't want the world to fall into chaos.

Anyway, on to this week's episode! We're entering 2008, and frankly, I'm scared. I'm scared that we're going to be overcome by crap rap. But I shall move forward courageously!!!

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here.

And...



(Link)
View more
2001: A Space Odyssey Quotes and Sound Clips
and
Douglas Rain Sound Clips


What? Oh, thanks, HAL.

Let me just check my phone.

Hey, what's this picture? I can't quite tell....ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! How did I get on a New York Congressman's texting list?

Must be my flowing blonde hair.

(Thanks to Indesign Studio)

Here we go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 26)

These one-hit wonders posts are humming along like clockwork, aren't they? Sometimes, they almost write themselves.

In fact, I just might do that this week, as I'm extremely tired after all of the Canucks hoopla. Just let me get the AI (Artificial Intelligence) booted up.



(Link)
View more
2001: A Space Odyssey Quotes and Sound Clips
and
Douglas Rain Sound Clips


There we go. He's just going to help me out a little bit here, when I'm at a loss for words (HA! Like that ever happens).

There may be a few bugs in the system, but the analysts say that he should be good to go today. I hope so, as I'm all alone here in the building. All of the interns are out having a party.

(Thanks to Madang)

Obviously, I do not include a fashion expert on staff.

Or do I?



Maybe I do pay them too well.

Anyway, it's time for this week's one-hit wonders of the 2000s post! That hive of hilarity, that jug of jocularity, and that nattering nabob of negativity.



(Link)
View more
2001: A Space Odyssey Quotes and Sound Clips
and
Douglas Rain Sound Clips


What? Oh, thanks, HAL. Let me just check that.

Cool beans! Somebody wants to give me a portion of the $100 million that he smuggled out of his war-torn country. Let me just call up my bank information before I continue.

There we go. All settled.

What? Yeah, we named the AI we're using HAL.

What could go wrong?

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here.

Here we go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 25)

Dust. Dust everywhere. Dust so thick that it will blow around you and choke you, entering your mouth and nasal passages, smothering you, until only the sweet oblivion of Death's grip on your shoulder will save you from it.

As those immortal bards known as Kansas used to say, all we are is dust in the wind.



But you know what all this dust means to me?

It means that we have to hire a new cleaning service.

This is my office here at One Hit Wonders Inc.

(Thanks to egotvonline)

It's not a pretty sight.

Why yes, I do have trees in my office. Why do you ask?

Anyway, I will try to clear my throat and brain enough to do this week's one-hit wonders of the 2000s post! The series that's full of wit so dry that it's not even noticeable.

Seriously, this could be you.

(Thanks to RamblingRoses)

But we motor on regardless!

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here. And you know what? Please don't jump ahead. I'm asking nicely. Seriously, I am.

Oh, and I'll let you get a drink of water before we go.

(Thanks to Middle Zone Musings)

Pssst! Are they gone yet?

Ok, let's go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 24)

On a cold and rainy Sunday in Vancouver, a long weekend with nothing but promise, I am primed and pumped and ready to produce some blogging goodness!!!

Too bad that never lasts past the first sentence or two. But I thank you for staying with me anyway.

I think it's sweet how optimistic you are, actually.

It's also Family Picnic day at One Hit Wonders Inc! We play such wonderful party games as Find the Intern

(Thanks to Christchurch Small Business Enterprise Center)

And Pin the Tail on the Doctor

(Thanks to the Dr. Who Image Archive)

The interns really enjoy these outings. And I enjoy them too.

One day, maybe I will give them more then 30 minutes before getting back to work.

But only if they're really nice to me.

Anyway, it's time for this week's edition of the one-hit wonders of the 2000s! We're getting through 2007 at a lovely pace. And, so far, no Rap! Well, no real Rap anyway.

Though I did accidentally rap my knuckles with this ruler on the desk.

Too many Catholic school flashbacks, I think.

But wait! What's this?

(Thanks to Wikiality)

I see Rappy seas ahead! Batten down the hatches! And put out that cigarette. Those things are bad for ya.

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here. Don't jump ahead of me, though.

Or this might jump out at you.

(Thanks to Vampires.com)

Sorry. That's me dressed up to go to the Symphony (yes, I go in drag...what of it?)

I meant this.

(Thanks to News of Delhi)

Here we go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 23)

How do you celebrate birthdays at your work place?

Here at One-Hit Wonders Inc, it's birthday day tomorrow! In the interests of efficiency, we only celebrate birthdays once a year, so everybody brings a cake on this very special day.

Of course, that can be difficult when you have over 400 employees here (ok, interns, as we don't actually make any money so can't afford to pay them), so you can guess that there's a LOT of cake on this very special day (I should trademark that phrase).


(Thanks to Chimothy27)

Ok, a *few* of our interns are, shall we say, maybe not old enough to do much?

Anyway, since there are so many cakes involved, this inevitably happens.


(Thanks to Foxtongue)

Because you can only eat so much cake, you know?

Soon, though, everybody goes back to work (hey, I gave them 20 minutes!) and we start producing this post again.

They do get a little hyper on birthday day, though.


(Thanks to Just Samson)

But we manage to calm them back down. And produce the awesomeness that is the one-hit wonders of the 2000s!

We're moving into 2007 now, and hoping for *much* better music. We'll see!

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here. Don't jump ahead of me, though. You don't want to see me when I'm pissed off.



And I even speak in Tongues!

Here we go.

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 22)

It's Mom's Day! Happy Mom's Day to all the good mothers out there, and most importantly to one of the most prominent moms out there!

What's that? She's been dead for over 75 years? And hardly anybody now knows who she is?

Well, knock me over with a feather and tickle me with a barbell. I had no idea.

Anyway, why do moms and dads get the short end of the stick? All of the other holidays are during the week and give us time off work. Why not these days? Ok, Easter is on a Sunday, but that couldn't be on any other day. Celebrate the parents! I want more work holidays!

No, I'm not being selfish whatsoever.

Ok, maybe a little. Besides, that kid called me names, so he doesn't deserve it anyway.

But a diatribe about holidays is not what you're here for, is it? Yes, you're here to have that painful, itchy rash looked at.

But I'm not a doctor.

So you're also probably here for more one-hit wonders!

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here.

And I don't really care if you take a look ahead of me or not. I will, however, be very disappointed in you.

I think that's a very "mom" thing to say, eh?

Here we go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 21)

Spring is in the air! And so are the pigeons.

Yes, the bane of every urbanite's existence is starting to cloud our balcony

Some have suggested plastic owls to scare them away.

But I prefer something else plastic.

It would work like a charm, and she'd work cheap, I'm sure!

Though we'd probably have to hear her talk, so maybe we'll just go with the owls.

It's time for this week's one-hit wonders of the 2000s post! That idol of inanity, the prism of pointlessness, all with a jug of jocularity to wash it down. Just don't overdose on that last part (as if that's ever a problem here).

As usual, you can see the list that I'm taking these from here, but don't jump ahead of me.

Or some of my interns will "take care of you."

*sigh* That's *not* what I meant.

Here we go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 20)

Today's a special day. You know what it is I'm sure. It's that day we anxiously await every year. Kids love it so much that they skip around the yard looking for the little guys.

(Thanks to Hoboken411)

Precious little tykes, aren't they?

Yes, it's the day that you can save even more on your car insurance than usual.

What, you were expecting some other kind of saving? (and I don't think he's going to fit in those baskets, kids)

Whoops! Looks like I pissed somebody off with that joke.

And...moving on.

Welcome to this week's addition of the one-hit wonders of the 2000s! This week, we'll try to avoid burning in Hell, though given the quality of music we've seen lately, that may be preferable! We'll see.

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here. Don't let me catch you looking ahead, though. If you do, fire and brimstone await.

If I can get this stupid match lit.

Here we go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 19)

In these harsh times, we here at One Hit Wonders Inc would like you to read our lips and know that we feel your pain, and also that we've got a strategery to win the future.

One bad song at a time.

Yes, we have a plan to help you out. I've sent our interns out on a quest for a few items.

They searched far and wide, and finally found what I was looking for.

Of course, that took them a week to find. I'm not sure where they unearthed it, actually.

Anyway, with that in hand, I can finally start paying my employees! And, subsequently, help the rest of you out as well.

What do you think of my first batch?

I think I need to even out the greens.

Besides, I think I'm going to have to stop before I can even get started, because I think the interns are using the machine for nefarious purposes.

And we can't have that!

So back to the songs. Welcome to week 19 in the weekly series you all love and dread, the countdown of the one-hit wonders of the 2000s.

We're entering 2006, and I'm seriously starting to fear these every week. Will we have more rap crap? Or just regular crap? Or how about some crappy crap? We're all things bowel movements to all people.

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here.

And don't worry about checking things ahead of time. I've run over my picture budget for this week. SOMEBODY made tons of copies of Justin Bieber pictures and charged them to my account.

Is there no age-limit to his fanbase?

Here we go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 18)

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you're running down the street naked, late for your driver's test, and people are throwing all sorts of food at you? You know, they hit you with strawberries, bananas, sushi (this is Vancouver, you know), and, most shockingly of all, rutabagas? And then you get so mad that all of a sudden you transform into a semi-truck cab and run them all down?

But then you finally get to the DMV and you promptly fail your driving test? "Too much blood on the hood" is one of the comments.

Is it just me?

I guess it is.

I did find a listing for this dream in Weber's "Dream Encyclopedia" (You know Weber, the guy whose motto is "Dreams are a window to the soul...and stop looking through it, you Peeping Tom. I'm naked here!" That guy?)

It's filed under the heading "Batshit Crazy."

Ok, I guess I'm the only one.

Why am I dreaming about stuff when I've got one-hit wonders to catalog? I don't know. I just know that I've got DEALS DEALS DEALS!!!

Yes, buy one bad song, you get the second one free! I have to be crazy to give you a deal like this!

Hence the dream.

Whoa. My mind's blown now.

Anyway, on to this week's show!

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here. I'm not even going to threaten you or anything for looking ahead. Some idiot emailed me and actually said that threats are...illegal or something.

So I tracked him down and gave him a wedgie.

Here we go!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 17)

We're back!

Yes, the offices of One Hit Wonder Inc are now back and fully operational.

But you know. I...well, I kind of lied earlier. It wasn't an Internet outage that caused me to think there wouldn't be an episode this week.

No, it was a bomb threat!

Not that kind of bomb! (stupid interns...must still be nervous)

It was *this* kind of bomb.

The bad guys sure are a colourful bunch, aren't they?

Anyway, we couldn't afford this guy:

so we got this guy in to defuse the bomb and get rid of all the bad guys.

They all keeled over, dying of laughter. It was easy to defuse the bomb then.

So we're back, with Week 17 of the one-hit wonders of the 2000s!

As usual, you can see where I'm getting these from here.

But don't look ahead of me. I might have to do something drastic.

Here we go!