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May 2, 2010

One Hit Wonders of the 90s (Part 12)

Hello, dear reader. I have a favour to ask you. The original post begins after all of the asterisks, if you want to skip this.

Now that the One Hit Wonders of the 90s series is over, I'm not going to be doing my weekly revisiting of all these posts (I had to do that to add the new post to the bottom). Thus, I won't be able to catch any broken picture links or deleted videos any more. Yet I want these posts to be as good as possible.

Please, if you happen upon one of these posts, or if you take a walk through a whole bunch of them, let me know if you find anything that doesn't work. You can leave a comment, or you can send me a message using that handy "Contact Me" page linked above.

Also, feel free to let me know what you think of the post or any of the videos!

Thank you.


I've been doing these one-hit wonders posts off and on since August 2009, and they have been pretty popular (and when I say "pretty popular," I mean that a couple of people actually like them). But as we get over 30 posts in the one-hit wonder oeuvre (Yes, I subscribe to the "Big Word-a-Day to Make You Sound Pretentious" web site, why do you ask?), I know you're asking yourselves some burning questions. Just how does Dave do these posts? Just where did Dave get this insightful wit and penchant ("There he goes again!" - The Peanut Gallery) for dry humour? Why does he insist on spelling words "Canadian" just because he's lived up there for twelve years. Isn't good-old American good enough for him? And just what does he use that ointment for?

Really, you should learn to focus your questions, because we just can't get anywhere if you don't. And you stay out of my ointment business, too!

Anyway, I thought I would offer you a behind the scenes look at the production of one of these posts.

1) Go to One-Hit Wonder site
2) Fire up new browser tab and go to Youtube.
3) Sit at computer
4) Stare at monitor in quiet desperation
5) Go to Facebook
6) Start surfing web
7) Drag myself back to blog post page and stare even more desperately
8) Write intro
9) Delete intro and start over
10) Re-write intro
11) Decide it's passable and watch videos
12) Be funny
13) Realize not funny, but figure it's good enough
14) Revel in the praise of crickets chirping (those crickets know good humour when they see it!)

So there you have it. Are you happy now? I appreciate your interest in this, but you really didn't have to do all this just to make me answer your questions.

All you had to do was ask! Violence never solves anything.

Anyway, on to this week's episode!

1) K.D. Lang - "Constant Craving" (#38)

I can't find that actual video of this song anywhere! Very weird, as I know I watched it on Youtube just last month.

Anyway, I love Lang's voice and while this isn't my favourite of her songs, it was the only one to chart in the U.S. She's a much bigger hit up here in her native Canada, and she's still part of the U.S. music consciousness even without hitting the Top 40.

And really, isn't that all that matters? Just watch and absorb her Lang goodness.

2) K.W.S. - "Please Don't Go" (#6)

This song hit #6 and I have no memory of it! At least this version, as of course it is a classic song (I think...classic to me, anyway). I think I would have survived if I never heard this one, either. Do we really need yet another dance club remake of a classic song? Ok, constantly saying that made me look it up, and it's a K.C. & the Sunshine Band song.

Who could improve on perfection?

Not K.W.S, that's for sure. Typical dance electro-pop that just fills up the ears and says "I suck!" very emphatically. Instead of making me want to get up and dance, it's making me want to sit on my hands and glare.

Oh well, at least it's provoking some emotion.

3) Charles & Eddie: "Would I Lie to You?" (#13)

Ummmm, wow. One guy wants to be Smokey Robinson and the other one wants to be Aaron Neville. Only higher-pitched, if that's possible. But the white guy has such flowing locks! I'm jealous, actually.

This song is just insipid, corny lyrics and both guys acting like they're God's gift to women. Must be nice when you're the one paying the salaries, eh? At least they've got some pretty New York scenery in there. Oh, and the buildings are quite nice too.

4) The Heights: "How Do You Talk to an Angel" (#1)

Back in the early 90s, "The Heights" was a television show about a young band. Nobody watched the show, but evidently they liked the theme song. Go figure.

I'm not even really sure why, because the song is terrible, though some of the music is good. I love it when people in their early 20s who haven't really experienced anything try to be "deep." It's kind of embarrassing actually.

Still, somebody must have liked it. Too bad for the show that nobody saw the video and said "hey, these guys are hunky! I'm going to watch the show." Yes, the women were babes, but this was definitely not a "guy" show, and most men would have avoided it even with the cheesecake in it.

5) Trey Lorenz: "Someone to Hold" (#19)

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz what? what? Oh, sorry about that. The thought of yet another sappy love song just put me to sleep there. As a blogger, I swore I would never do that. How much respect for you does it show when I fall asleep on the job? You should fire me or something. Of course, I'll sue your ass for wrongful termination so quickly that Tiger Woods' head will spin the way it does when he gets a letter from Gloria Allred.

Oh, the song? Crap, pure crap that's isn't exactly making my ears bleed, but they desperately want to.

6) Saigon Kick: "Love is on the Way" (#12)

The quality of these last one-hit wonders of 1992 is really starting to depress me. They're really making me want to slit my wrists. Or somebody else's wrists. Or maybe just the CD jacket of a Saigon Kick album. I want to slit something!

Aren't these love songs supposed to be encouraging, or inspiring, or maybe even heart-breaking? They're breaking my heart, but not because of the feelings of lost loves of the past or anything like that. My heart's breaking with the feelings of lost music of the past.

Surely this music is against the Geneva Convention or something, isn't it? You know how I'm feeling right now?

Ah, yes. Isn't he adorable? He's pissed off at this music too. Is it possible for your cousin's cousin's cousin's nephew to inherit something from you? If so, this kid is MINE.

7)Wreckx-n-Effect: "Rump Shaker" (#2)

I knew when I was typing the name of this song that I would regret this. Still, I wish my sax player was that hot! Still, this guy looks like he's 13 years old!!! And he's singing about rumps?

I really don't have anything to say. I just feel

Yeah, that's it.

So we come to the end of 1992, not with a bang, not even with a whimper. But with a primal scream of "WHY ME, OH LORD, WHY ME??????"

How do I feel now that I'm at the end of 1992?

Yeah, I've got the moves. You ain't got nothing on me (though Liza is still a bitch).

Hopefully next year will be better!

One-Hit Wonders of the 90s
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28
Part 29
Part 30
Part 31
Part 32
Part 33
Part 34
Part 35
Part 36
Part 37
Part 38
Part 39
Part 40


  1. Dave,

    I'm baaaaaaaack. Sorry, been really busy and I will comment in a more timely manner from now on...did I suck up enough there for ya? :) Anyway, on with the comments:

    1. k.d lang -- Love me some k.d. I actaully got to see her perform this at the 1993 Grammy Awards (I won the trip on Power 98.9). I was sitting in the upper balcony and k.d. looks ups, says, "David, this is for you" and blows the roof off the joint. Of course, the girl next to me from Alabama was peeing her pants because Billy Ray Cyrus was going to sing Achy Breaky Heart later in the show.

    2. KWS -- Love this song. Played in power rotation on 98.9. Someone actually called in one time and said they thought the lyrics were Free Snowcones, instead of Please Don't Go. BTW, I proudly own this cd. I was a dance music doofus in the 90s.

    3.Charles & Eddie -- love this song. Throwback to the 60's Motown vibe. I agree that the long haired guy is totally cheesy, but the song just makes me smile. It was played all the time on 98.9 -- go figure.

    4. The Heights -- I think I watched one episode of the show. The song actually is important because it knocked Boyz II Men out of the #1 spot, which they had held for like 12 weeks -- they had tied Elvis Presley's record for most weeks at #1. I still like listening to this song, thinking back to the days before grunge and watching videos on MTV -- when they still played videos and The Real World was the only reality show on television.

    5. Trey Lorenz -- LOVE THIS SONG!!!! Trey was a back-up singer for Mariah Carey (see MTV Unplugged version of I'll Be There -- Mariah: "Trey sing!". I thought he would have been a bigger star, but he likes the background more.

    6. Saigon Kick -- The video is to a different song. Here's the link to the video:
    I like this song -- one of the last hair band power ballads.

    7. Wreckx-N-Effect -- All I want to do so lalalala Shake You're Rump. Yes, I danced to this many times at Chantilly Lace, but only after 5 or 6 Red Dogs (loved the bulldog on the label). At the time, it was such a dirrrrty song. Now, it seems so non-threatening. And now,. I have more rump to shake :)

  2. And I like Trey Lorenz's Someone to Hold...good one!

  3. Dave: Thanks for the video correction on Saigon Kick. I've changed it now.

    Was Lang calling you out at the Grammy's part of the contest? That is so cool!!!!

    I'm glad you enjoyed this post more than I did. LOL And I look forward to future comments!

    Sureindran: I see I'm going to be in the minority on these. LOL

    Thanks for the comments!

  4. I remember #2, 3, 4, 6, & 7!

    You hater!!! =P I <3 the song "how do you talk to an angel?" I still listen to it once in a while. :)

  5. I'm not a hater! Saying something is terrible doesn't mean I'm....

    Oh, who am I kidding. Yes it does. LOL

    As we get further on into the 90s, you'll probably recognize more and more, I would think.


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