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October 10, 2010

One Hit Wonders of the 90s (Part 35)

Hello, dear reader. I have a favour to ask you. The original post begins after all of the asterisks, if you want to skip this.

Now that the One Hit Wonders of the 90s series is over, I'm not going to be doing my weekly revisiting of all these posts (I had to do that to add the new post to the bottom). Thus, I won't be able to catch any broken picture links or deleted videos any more. Yet I want these posts to be as good as possible.

Please, if you happen upon one of these posts, or if you take a walk through a whole bunch of them, let me know if you find anything that doesn't work. You can leave a comment, or you can send me a message using that handy "Contact Me" page linked above.

Also, feel free to let me know what you think of the post or any of the videos!

Thank you.


You know what upsets me?

Yes, the fact that while I have used gallons of Axe body spray, I have yet to be swarmed by nubile young ladies definitely upsets me.

I want my thousands of dollars back.

But that's not what I'm talking about.

No, what upsets me is what some of these artists in my one-hit wonders posts would think of me if they read what I say about them.

I mean, sure, Loreena McKennitt would love what I said about her last week. But what about that guy from the Verve? Would he want to pound my lights out for saying he was an asshole? (Though, *technically*, I just said he was being an asshole in the video).

In fact, I did get together with him last week and we talked things out. He made his points, I said his song sucked but that I still loved him anyway, and then dessert came.

And then he ate a dwarf!

I thought that was kind of uncalled for. So I ducked out on him and left him with the cheque.

Hey, he shouldn't have suggested I have the Prime Rib.

But I digress.

It's time for this week's edition of the one-hit wonders of the 90s! Yes, you thought it would never come. You can stop holding your breath now.

Don't do that again! I can't afford to lose any readers.

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here. And I don't even care if you go look or not. I'm beyond caring.

Hey, how'd that get in here! I've been hacked!

Oh well. I'll deal with it later.

Here we go!

1) Playa: "Cheers 2 U" (#38)

(Yay, Vevo!!!!)

Yes, Internet-speak was taking over in the 90s. Good to see Playa taking advantage of that!

I gotta get me one of those pink hats! I think I would look snazzy in one of them.

Did he need that much champagne to get her to sleep with him? I hope they had a party with it after the video shoot. Otherwise, what a waste!

The song's kinda cheesy, but it's nothing too bad. An attempt at some serious soul music that just sounds kind of squishy instead. It's very typical of the genre.

Maybe that's why it didn't catch on (and barely cracked the charts).

Either that, or maybe kids were just out playing that Summer and didn't really care about some guy's ode to a woman being charitable enough to actually be seen with him.

That might have been it too.

2) Link: "Whatcha Gone Do?" (#23)

Link . Whatcha Gone Do .1998
Uploaded by capitainfunkk. - News videos from around the world.

Ok, this isn't really that bad of a song. But better than sex? Ummmm, no, I don't think so.

Wow, funny I should mention sex there! I don't know why that would occur to me right at this moment.

It's weird how things just occur to you at times, for no reason.

This song actually made it on the radio? All I can gather is that the generic population either couldn't understand the words, or had no idea what they actually meant. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to beat off...I mean, beat the cat...wait, I mean, oh, hell, let's just go on to the next one...

3) Imajin (featuring Keith Murray): "Shorty (You Keep Playin' With My Mind)" (#25)

Is that kid old enough to be calling a girl "hot?" "Please get naughty with me?" Aren't these women a little too old for them? Well, most of them, there seems to be an older guy in there too.

Ok, I'm seriously confused now.

The song? Oh, it's kind of fun, in a toe-tapping, not wanting to think way. Unfortunately, I find myself thinking about things too much while watching the video, which kind of robs the enjoyment out of it.

Sort of like this guy does.

Ok, now I'm hungry.

4) Nicole (featuring Mocha): "Make it Hot" (#5)

Was just about to make a rap joke, when singing broke out! Colour me grateful.

I actually like this song, though the video leaves something to be desired. Is that what they call dancing?

No, THIS is dancing.

I do like the song, but the rapping part takes away so much from it. I hate it when artists reference themselves and other artists/collaborators in a song (the Timbaland references, Nicole Wray, etc).

On another front, the song does seem rather two-dimensional at times.

Ha! See what I did there?

Aw, never mind.

5) Five: "When the Lights Go Out" (#10)

(Yay, Vevo!!!!)

Oh no!!! New Kids wannabes!!!!!!

You know, when the lights go out, baby...let's go bowling!!!

I like the bowling motif, actually. It's got everything you need for innuendo. It's got a ball, an alley, it's just missing something...can't think of what it is.

Oh yeah, that.

So, in essence, this song really sucks. And then the guy breaks into a short rap, making it even worse.

Oy, vey.

6) Cleopatra: "Cleopatra's Theme" (#26)

Ok, I just don't know what to say.

I guess it's good that they know their name, at least. And they can spell it, too! That's actually good to know in this day and age.

7) Semisonic: "Closing Time" (#11)

(Yay, Vevo!!!!)

Wow, one I've heard! Kind of. I at least have some vague memory of this song.

I actually like this song, too. And I love the split-screen in the video, though there's no logic to it whatsoever, at least until the end. It would have been more effective if it had been more seamless.

But how can you beat a lyric like this?

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Whoa. That's deep, man.

8) Big Punisher: "Still Not a Player" (#24)

And we end on a rap note. Fun!

I do love the beeper on the helicopter, though.

Just be glad I didn't post the explicit version of the song (you'll notice lots of gaps in the lyrics in this video).

Double ugh.

And there you have it! One more week left in 1998, before we move on to the last year of the decade! I'm feeling a little nostalgic for 1990, actually. I'm going to miss the 90s when I'm done. *sniff*

There are now *5* weeks left in the countdown, before the Millennial explosion. Prepare yourself.

Or, you know, don't.

But now it's time to start the day. After I make an announcement.

Présentatrice TV s'énerve sur le public en live [Clash TV]
Uploaded by ParlonsTV. - News videos from around the world.

Guess who forgot to take their happy pills today?

One-Hit Wonders of the 90s
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28
Part 29
Part 30
Part 31
Part 32
Part 33
Part 34
Part 35
Part 36
Part 37
Part 38
Part 39
Part 40


  1. "Yes, the fact that while I have used gallons of Axe body spray, I have yet to be swarmed by nubile young ladies definitely upsets me." Hahaha =P

    I remember #3-8 :)

  2. There really should be truth in advertising laws...

  3. The thing of it is, most women with more than one brain cell, think Axe smells like shit. Just a heads up. Oh and in case you really do wear it and your wife likes it, I said most not all. No need to insult Kim. ;)

  4. I honestly haven't smelled it, so I'll take your word for it. :)

    I actually have a couple of samples (shampoo and body wash, I think) that I haven't even bothered to try.

  5. Don't ever bother trying it. That shit stinks.

  6. I opened the cap of one of them yesterday, and almost passed out.

    You are so right. Ugh!!!


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