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March 7, 2010

One Hit Wonders of the 90s (Part 3)

Hello, dear reader. I have a favour to ask you. The original post begins after all of the asterisks, if you want to skip this.

Now that the One Hit Wonders of the 90s series is over, I'm not going to be doing my weekly revisiting of all these posts (I had to do that to add the new post to the bottom). Thus, I won't be able to catch any broken picture links or deleted videos any more. Yet I want these posts to be as good as possible.

Please, if you happen upon one of these posts, or if you take a walk through a whole bunch of them, let me know if you find anything that doesn't work. You can leave a comment, or you can send me a message using that handy "Contact Me" page linked above.

Also, feel free to let me know what you think of the post or any of the videos!

Thank you.


It's Sunday morning, so do you know what time it is?  No, it's not time to skin the cat, no matter how tempting that is.

No, it's time for another one-hit wonders post!  I am doing my best to be regular about this (Metamucil helps with that).

So far, I've managed to do so, but we'll see if I can keep this up.  You one-hit wonders fans are really demanding, though.  It was touching to see you all show up outside my window, cheering me on to more one-hit wonder goodness. But it was awfully creepy as well. How did you find out where I live?

Still, one must admire your dedication! And here's your reward. More one-hit wonders of the 90s goodness! Just don't show up outside again. Or if you are going to do that, I expect some nudity too. You have to really show you want it.

Ok, here we go!

1) Nikki: "Notice Me" (#21)

Stalker! "I've been watching you" indeed. Sounds kind of obsessed, actually. And then begging for her to notice him? I think the restraining order is a good indication that she did notice him.

Like so much of this music, it's not a horrible song, but Nikki's voice kind of grated on my ears, especially when he hit the high notes. It's not surprising this was his only hit, though.

At least it doesn't make me want to scrub my ears out!

2) Brent Bourgeois: "Dare to Fall in Love" (#32)

Help me, the room's spinning! Must be that bad tequila I had last night. Just what we need: more overwrought pablum. But at least the guy's handsome! After the failure of this album to do much, he ventured into the Christian Music genre and seems to have a bit more success there. Personally, I think he can stay there so I don't have to listen to it again.

Again, it's not that it's bad...ok, it is that it's bad.

3) Mellow Man Ace: "Mentirosa" (#14)

Oh God, take me now! Don't make me listen to this crap any more! What, you mean we have free choice? But what about my fans? Won't they be disappointed?

This song is so bad, with pointless sampling of Santana's "Evil Ways", and then bad rapping with a mixture of Spanish and English (with helpful subtitles for the Spanish in the video!) What's the point of switching back and forth between the two? It doesn't make the song sound any better.

How do you say "Ugh" in Spanish? And do I care?

4) George Lamond: "Bad of the Heart" (#25)

Wow, those are some...interesting dance moves. And what the hell does "bad of the heart" mean? I get it by context within the song, but there are so many different (and better) ways to say it. Is he saying that the woman loves them and leaves them? If so, she's beautiful enough that isn't it a good thing to be on her arm, even for a little bit? And can this song get any more annoying?

These are questions that will never have an answer.

I think this cat agrees with me:

I know, I was bored too!

5) The Lightning Seeds: "Pure" (#31)

Finally! Something actually, you know, good! And finally one that I actually remember. This song is a classic, and I'm surprised it only went to #31. There's just something about that beat that gets to me. And the lyrics, too!

"just lying smiling in the dark
shooting stars around your heart
dreams come bouncing in your head
pure and simple everytime
now you're crying in your sleep
i wish you'd never learnt to weep
don't sell the dreams you should be keeping
pure and simple everytime"

The Lightning Seeds have been quite popular in the UK, but this is the only song that really made it over in the US. That's too bad. Because "Pure" is one of my favourite songs.

See? I actually do like some things.

6) Tyler Collins: "Girls Night Out" (#6)

Ah, I see where Faith Hill got the "writhing in bed" idea, though Hill looked a *lot* hotter doing it. Again, with the "interesting" dance moves! I think I could do that if somebody put 1000 volts through me.

I actually remember this song, but it's really nothing more than typical pop music that's really generic and doesn't really contain anything to set it apart from anything else. Hot babe? Check. Bad dancing? Check. Pointless writhing? Ok, well, that's not bad. Writhing's always good, and with the less clothes, the better!

7) The West Coast Rap All-Stars: "We're All in the Same Gang" (#35)

Just looking at the name, I knew I would hate this song. Obviously, this song is not for me, as one who just can't stand rap at all. Thus, I leave the video for you, but I'm not going to comment on it.

It just hurts too much.

It's got a nice anti-gang message, though. I'll give it that. But that doesn't mean I have to listen to it.

8) Brother Beyond: "The Girl I Used to Know" (#27)

Oh, no, it's the rise of the Boy Bands!!!! I'd forgotten how prominent they started to be at the beginning of the 90s. I had mercifully scrubbed it from my memory. Brother Beyond is just an even worse example of them. This is their only "hit" over here, though they were big in the UK before disbanding.

Incidentally, one of the band members was named "Eg White". Yes, that was a nickname. But why the missing "g"? He wanted to be unique? Or just silly? Or insane?


9) Kyper: "Tic-Tac-Toe" (#14)

Good lord, stop the needless sampling!!!! "Owner of a Lonely Heart?" And then you make an even worse song? This song is truly annoying, maybe one of the most annoying ones in this batch, actually. "X....and O....Like Yes......and No." Oh, please. This song is making me curl up into a little ball, saying "Why, world? Why? What have I ever done to you?"

I am going to have to change some of my evil ways before the next batch of songs, so I don't get punished like this.

So there you have it. Another segment in the seemingly endless list of one-hit wonders. This group was particularly bad, though it did have "Pure" in there, which really salvaged the day. If that hadn't been in there, I would not be responsible for my actions.

I might even become a roadie for Celine Dion. Yes, it was that bad.

To make up for all of those monstrosities I made you watch (hey, you clicked on them!), I think I'm going to go ice fishing with my wife's rats.

Nah, they don't need my help.

Update #1: Just in case anybody thinks otherwise, I was kidding about these being my wife's rats. It is one of my wife's favourite videos, though.

Disclaimer #1: Also, the makers of Metamucil did not in any way compensate me for the reference I made to them in the above post. Further, I make no claims at to whether or not Metamucil actually works as advertised and I make no endorsement of it whatsoever. They did not send me a free sample to try out (those jerks), and they did not ask me to reference them in this post. In fact, they would probably pay me to *not* mention them, if they were even aware of my existence. Which they're not.

There, do you think this will keep the lawyers off my back?

One-Hit Wonders of the 90s
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28
Part 29
Part 30
Part 31
Part 32
Part 33
Part 34
Part 35
Part 36
Part 37
Part 38
Part 39
Part 40


  1. *Note to self, keep cat away from Dave!*

    It wasn't hard to find you since you tell Foursquare where you are all the time. =P

    #4 George Lamond kind of sounds like Collage, or at least his beat does.

  2. Well I can't say I liked any of these. Sorry. The rat one at the end was the best. These videos are SO BAD. Can't see spending all that money to make something so bad. Maybe it's just me & the younger people really like them. Shows my age I guess. Maybe the next bunch will be better.

  3. Hey, who hacked into my Foursquare Friends list? :P

    And our cat is *really* annoying, so your cat is probably safe. Unless he's annoying too.

    I have no idea who Collage is, so I'll take your word for it. LOL

  4. Mom, I don't think you'll ever like any of these. LOL But you keep torturing yourself. :P

    Then again, this time I actually agreed with you for the most part. But how can you not like "Pure?" That is classic.

  5. Okay I went back & listened to (Pure) again. It was probably the best of the nine. I make a list of all of them & write my comments. The only comment I made on Pure was the singer looked nerdy. The video was better then most & the sunsets were pretty. I don't feel tortured. I just keep hoping I'll love some of them. So far I haven't. Am I forgiven now for saying I didn't like any of them?LOL

  6. Yes, I suppose I can forgive. :P

  7. Yay! Rats! LOL

    I don't really know any of the songs. I spent most of the 90's listening to Beatles and other such oldies but goodies.

  8. Never let it be said that I don't think of my family when I do these. :P

    I'm surprised that I'm knowing so few of these. I listened to popular music when I was in college, and only started moving away from it after I moved up to Chicago. So you'd think most of these would be slam dunks for me.

    Then again, given the quality of this batch, that does make me happy.

  9. I officially admit I do not know a single song in the list. Looks like I really missed out on a lot.

  10. Lena!

    No, you certainly didn't miss out on any of these. :)


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