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June 20, 2010

One Hit Wonders of the 90s (Part 19)

Hello, dear reader. I have a favour to ask you. The original post begins after all of the asterisks, if you want to skip this.

Now that the One Hit Wonders of the 90s series is over, I'm not going to be doing my weekly revisiting of all these posts (I had to do that to add the new post to the bottom). Thus, I won't be able to catch any broken picture links or deleted videos any more. Yet I want these posts to be as good as possible.

Please, if you happen upon one of these posts, or if you take a walk through a whole bunch of them, let me know if you find anything that doesn't work. You can leave a comment, or you can send me a message using that handy "Contact Me" page linked above.

Also, feel free to let me know what you think of the post or any of the videos!

Thank you.


It's Father's Day! Happy Father's Day everyone (except to you badass Zombie fathers, who can just go right back into your graves and rot away, unless you want a double-shot of 12-gauge action applied right to the head) (that's an ode to my Mother's Day zombie-themed one-hit wonder post) (and yes, I'm using up my annual parentheses allotment early for no good reason this week).

Where was I? I'm actually kinda dizzy right now (Peanut Gallery: "That's the understatement of the year!")

Oh yes, time for the weekly dose of one-hit wonder goodness that you all know and love (when I say that, I'm really only speaking to Randy, who's hiding in the back behind the tall girl) (why the hell am I using so damned many parentheses?)

This week, we're heading into 1995, and having done a cursory look at the year ahead, I don't see much (if any) rap! I think the "good" rap artists had established themselves and kept producing records while the wannabes stopped, or at least were never good enough to get even one hit. I'm really hoping that this trend continues. My head always hurts after one of these.

See what I do for you? I am really looking out for you. Kinda like this guy.

Whoops! That's from my private collection. I meant this guy.

You know you're safe when he's around.

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here. Do you ever get tired of me saying that? I do too. However, you know the one time I leave it off, everybody's going to want one, and there will be lots of wailing and screaming and gnashing of teeth, just because I didn't tell you where to go.

So anyway, on to 1995!

1) 20 Fingers (Featuring Gillette): "Short Dick Man" (#14)

Language Warning!

Wow, that's...kinda vulgar, actually. Not exactly ready for radio play. Even cutting the "naughty" word out, that leaves a lot of empty gaps in the song for hearing it on the radio. In fact, they changed the title and the words to "Short Short Man" which, when you think about it, makes no sense.  What, is she against midgets?  I would assume it went to #14 because of people who didn't hear it on the radio. You think?

I'm not offended by this song, but it is boring and repetitive, which does annoy me. It was kind of funny the first time or so (though not as funny as it wants to be) but after that? Ugh. It feels like my brain is a record that's skipping.

2) Deadeye Dick: "New Age Girl" (#27)

From the Dumb & Dumber soundtrack (a popular, but very stupid movie),this video appears to follow the movie's direction in being very stupid. However, the song is actually kind of cool. It's one of those mid-90s rock songs that just grabs you by the head and says "you know what? you might actually enjoy me."

It's a very polite song in that way.

But for some reason, I'm getting this strong urge for pumpkin pie.

3) Corona: "The Rhythm of the Night" (#11)

Dance music! By 1995, I wasn't really going to clubs, so I wasn't really into this kind of music. Feel that synthesizer beat, though! It's got me grooving in my seat, making me want to go out and lose myself in the lights and pounding, pulsing beat of the music on the dance floor, gyrating and grinding until I get slapped.

Or have a coronary because I'm not built to dance like that anymore...if I ever was.

This is still what you wear out to the clubs, right?

Yeah, that would be me. But with more chest hair.

4) 4 P.M.: "Sukiyaki" (#8)

Not bad. I applied to the group to do harmony on this song, but they kicked me out after the Dog Swarm of 1995 overran the studio. Somehow, they blamed ME for it. Can you imagine?

It is a pretty good song, but again it doesn't really distinguish itself from all of the other songs like this that were just better. And longer (that was a short one!). The guy's got a great voice, and I love the crooning vocal group in the background. Definitely not a song to turn off, but it's not really one to look for, either.

5) Andru Donalds: "Mishale" (#38)

The poor guy looks so sad, doesn't he?

I can't believe this only went up to #38, because I really like this song (like I'm the arbiter of whether a song should be popular or not?). I love the line "If loving you is heaven, then missing you is hell."

Yeah, kind of corny, but I like it. Everybody knows I'm a cornball anyway, right? (Don't answer that)

Just one question: why is she buried right in the middle of the path? Wouldn't the bike riders and walkers get a little pissed off at that?

6) N II U: "I Miss You" (#22)

An ode to moms everywhere (yeah, I know it's Father's Day, but I didn't choose it).

What? Why am I crying? I'm not...there's just....uh....something in my eye. Yeah, that's it.

7) Vince Gill: "House of Love" (#37)

Ummmm, why is this on the list? This isn't a Vince Gill song. It's an Amy Grant duet featuring Vince Gill. Is this a sympathy inclusion just so Gill can be on a Pop chart? He didn't have any other crossover hits (he's big on the Country charts).

I'll include it anyway, though. It's not a bad song, not a great song. Grant is a great singer, I'm sure Gill has his appeal.

There you go. Something to rival the "why did VH-1 include THAT song?" controversy.

8) Des'ree: "You Gotta Be" (#5)

I didn't recognize this song from the name, but now that I'm hearing it, I have fond memories of it.

They sure saved on the production costs for this video, didn't they? You could probably do that for about $100 nowadays.

You have to love the encouraging message this song has. And presented in a very listenable format, too. Des'ree has a great voice and this is just a pleasant song.

But really, does love ever save the day?


Ahem. Sorry. Lost control there for a minute.

So there you have it. The first of four installments of the one-hit wonders of 1995. And not a rap song in sight! I'll keep a look out for them, maybe see if we can steer clear of any that are coming upon us. I'll need to dress and equip myself appropriately, though.

Wow, that thing *chafes*.

One-Hit Wonders of the 90s
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28
Part 29
Part 30
Part 31
Part 32
Part 33
Part 34
Part 35
Part 36
Part 37
Part 38
Part 39
Part 40


  1. Had to write this before I go to bed. I can't believe I actually liked all of them except number one. of course. (you knew I'd say that didn't you?) It was just plain SICK. You did good this week . Keep it up.

  2. I love how you make it sound like I have a choice in the songs. LOL

    But thank you.

  3. I know you have no choice.I was just surprised I kind of liked them all except number 1

  4. I remember #1 (I was only 11 at the time, what on earth was I listening to?!?!?) (see your parentheses thing is contagious!) lol

    Also remember #2, 3, 4, 7, & 8.

  5. You probably heard the radio edit, where she said "short, short man." LOL

    Unless you were buying CDs behind your parents' back. :P

  6. Lol yeah I was hearing "man" & growing up I honestly thought she was talking about wanting a tall man haha =D


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