One Hit Wonders of the 90s (Part 39)

Hello, dear reader. I have a favour to ask you. The original post begins after all of the asterisks, if you want to skip this.

Now that the One Hit Wonders of the 90s series is over, I'm not going to be doing my weekly revisiting of all these posts (I had to do that to add the new post to the bottom). Thus, I won't be able to catch any broken picture links or deleted videos any more. Yet I want these posts to be as good as possible.

Please, if you happen upon one of these posts, or if you take a walk through a whole bunch of them, let me know if you find anything that doesn't work. You can leave a comment, or you can send me a message using that handy "Contact Me" page linked above.

Also, feel free to let me know what you think of the post or any of the videos!

Thank you.

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It's almost here! You are now holding, in your cute little hand (if you're on an iPad or something, at least), the penultimate episode of the one-hit wonders of the 90s!

Are you ready for the extravaganza? The party to end all parties? You remember the Millenium, don't you? (I don't, but for other, more alcohol-related reasons).

This will surpass that! Easily!

The Rapture?

Ok, maybe it won't be *that* big, but you will be in rapture as you're reading it!

(Look at that. He's gone stiff with pleasure!)

(Note to self: check with psychiatrist about this whole "falsely building up expectations" problem you've been having)

Anyway, enough about next week. It's time for this week's edition. I don't want this week's participants to feel slighted or insulted in any way (even though they most likely all suck).

I don't want to play favourites, and I don't want them to think that they're being overlooked because of next week.

Though I do have to say that next's week participants do look awesome, don't they? Oh, yeah, you haven't gone to look yet, have you? GOOD!!!!

Actually, neither have I, so I could be talking out of my ass.

Which is actually quite painful and irritating.

Here we go!

1) Sporty Thievz: "No Pigeons" (#12)


Sporty Thievz - No Pigeons ( TLC COVER )
Uploaded by icecreamm91. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Uh oh. Not a good way to start.

Gee. Even when they try to sing, they give me a headache. And the lyrics are asinine, too. This is supposed to be funny?

NEXT!!!

2) Joe Diffie: "A Night to Remember" (#38)



Ok, what's with this Country invasion? We had the ramparts manned against the Rap country invasion (here's one of our warriors now)

but we didn't even think about defending ourselves from the Country....uh...country.

But here comes another one sneaking through! We stopped him at #38, but still...we'll have to get the CIA and Special Forces involved, I think.

Like most country songs, the title has a double meaning: the usual meaning of "night to remember" when talking about a night with your sweetie. And then the "remember" part because the guy's remembering a love that's now gone.

Funny how so many country songs have plays on words as titles. Brooks & Dunn's "Refried Dreams," anybody?

Anyway, the song itself isn't that bad, but there's nothing here that's different from any other Country song, so I'm not sure why this made the transition to the Pop charts. It's certainly not *bad* (unless you hate that Country twang to begin with), but I just have to wonder why it happened this time.

I am actually kind of a Diffie fan, from back when I listened to Country music. Here's my favourite song of his. It's a lot more fun than this tear-jerker is, though.



3) Eric Benet: "Spend My Life With You" (#21)


Eric Benét&Tamia-Spend my Life with You
Uploaded by ineptique. - See the latest featured music videos.

(The Youtube version exists, but the sound quality is terrible)

Is that supposed to be snow that's dousing them at the end? Certainly looks like feathers. I guess that indicates there was a bit of a wild night, eh?

This is actually quite the beautiful song, and it's no surprise that this song is used (or was used, anyway) at so many weddings. It's a perfect fit.

And, let me be totally serious for a moment.

This song goes out to my blogging friend, Duane Scott, because he's getting married today! In fact, the ceremony is going on right this minute. All of my best wishes for a long and happy life together, Duane! You totally deserve it.

Would anybody believe that I actually planned this song to come up on this fateful day? Thirty-nine weeks ago, I knew that this song would be very important on this very day. They weren't even engaged yet!

Because I am just that good.

And now back to the comedy ("Is that what you call it?" - The Peanut Gallery)

4) Citizen King: "Better Days (and the Bottom Drops Out)" (#25)


Citizen King - Better Days
Uploaded by WBRNewMedia. - Explore more music videos.

(Damn you, Warner Brothers! "Embedding disabled?")

It took a while, but I actually remember this song! Yeah, the guy's voice is kind of grating, but the song itself actually isn't too bad.

It's fun in the "if you can't laugh, you'll cry" manner, a humorous commentary on a down-and-out lifestyle, with dead-end job and all of that. It's probably a bit more poignant right now, but in the boom-days of the late 90s? It was probably funner.

I love the video, though. It just adds to the lightness of the mood. This guy's taking life as it comes. And really, is that a bad attitude to have?

Ok, maybe not if you're Lindsay Lohan or something, but otherwise, it's pretty good.

5) Tal Bachman: "She's So High" (#14)



(Yay, Vevo!)

While I kind of stopped listening to pop music around this time, the wife and I would sometimes have music videos on late at night while we were reading, surfing the Net, or whatever.

I officially hate this song because it was *so* overplayed.

She's so high and wonderful, but she steals a clown's balloons? I sense there are...issues...with her. Sure, she gave them to a little girl, but does that make it any better?

The song's silly, the video's stupidly silly, the production values suck, and I see no point in the whole thing.

But otherwise, it's not that bad.

6) Chely Wright: "Single White Female" (#36)



(Yay, Vevo!)

More Country???? We're still holding the line, but they're starting to seep through. I'm running out of fingers to plug the holes in the dyke! What happens if there are eleven?

Is it just me, or does the whole bus motif of the video not fit this song? Wright's going on about "looking for a one-woman man" and all of that junk. But the situation in the video, the woman's never even spoken to this guy. How does she know he'll fit what she wants? Is she telepathic? Body language? Is she just in lust, and to hell with the one-woman man stuff?

And I'm sorry, but this guy is stone-cold dense. She's eyeing him like one of these

(Ladies, don't say I never do anything for you)

but he doesn't notice? Even when she tries to read over his shoulder...TWICE! Really, girl, is this the kind of intelligence you want in a man?

What, the song? Oh, yeah, it's pretty good. Another Country music "play on words" song title and all of that.

But Chely's hot, and she's got a really great voice too.

So that makes it easier to like.

7) Garth Brooks (as Chris Gaines): "Lost in You" (#5)


Trailer provided by Video Detective

Ah, yes. The completely failed "Chris Gaines" experiment. What the heck was he thinking?

If Brooks was trying to create a thoroughly unlikeable "rock" singer who looks more strange than intriguing, then he succeeded! The voice sounds like a man changing his voice, rather than a new voice (does that make sense?). It just looks and feels so fake.

The song is horrible (how did it get to #5?) and thankfully, Brooks and the production company put Gaines out of his misery very quickly.

I love this quote from the Gaines Wikipedia entry:

"The album received mixed reviews, and fan response was often bewilderment: "they didn't think that [Brooks] was playing a role, they simply thought he'd lost his mind.""

The reviewer who said that goes on to say that the album wasn't really that bad, and if it had been released as a Garth Brooks "first Pop album" instead of this whole Gaines stupidity, it probably would have done ok.

It might have done ok, but if this song is any example, it would have still blown.

And there you have it! Sorry to end on such a bad (and extremely stupid) note, but you know I don't have any control over these (except for that wedding song mentioned above, don't ya know). But now you have a week to mull over the stupidity that is Chris Gaines.

You know you've been dying to. Or at least those of you who were saying something other than "Who the hell is Chris Gaines? Or Garth Brooks, for that matter?"

Now I have to go prepare for next week. I have to get the fireworks, for one thing.

No, not *that* type of fireworks. This kind!

Oh, I give up.

I really need to hire new interns. Sometimes, you just have to do things yourself.



One-Hit Wonders of the 90s
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28
Part 29
Part 30
Part 31
Part 32
Part 33
Part 34
Part 35
Part 36
Part 37
Part 38
Part 39
Part 40