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November 28, 2010

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 1)

It is the Dawn of the Age of Man. Fire is just being discovered (by some guy whose wife started yelling at him, lighting a fire under his ass, so he doesn't get to enjoy the invention) and the wheel is too! But wait, what's that?

(Thanks, Speed Bump!)

Oh no!!! All the paparazzi has got their stone tablets ready and are going to be hounding these poor souls to death! (Not to mention that the fire-inventor guy is obviously cheating on his wife!)

Why do I bring up these ancient things on a 2010 blog? Well, when you are starting something brand new, you really should examine the past, eh? And this is totally new!

Ok, it is the same old same old, except that we're in a new decade now! That's right! Welcome to the One-Hit Wonders of the 2000s! That regular post (if you can call one so far "regular") that will make your skin silky smooth and add colour to your cheeks too!

Though I am forced to admit (by FDA regulations) that for some people, it has had the opposite effect.

There is no truth to the rumour that it causes insanity, except in the head of the poster himself, who went off the deep end a long time ago.

So it's still safe to read. If you don't mind some lily-white skin.

Yes, you are reading the first in a brand new series of one-hit wonders posts! It's pretty much going to be the same as the previous ones, except that I'm adding the date the song peaked on the charts (assuming for the moment that Wikipedia's actually accurate).

Yes, the jokes will still be lame, so rest assured you don't have to prepare yourself for *that* to change!

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here (ok, maybe it's not usual yet, since this is actually a different page than the previous one, but the concept is the same...I think. Isn't it? I don't know).

And now, since I've confused myself silly

here we go!!!!

1) Guy: "Dancin" (#19) (January 1, 2000)

(Yay, Vevo!!!)

Oooooo, looks science-fictiony (Yes, I do still make up words, despite being a decade older now)! And look at him wiggle those pecs! It's almost enough to turn me on...well, not quite, but close.

And we start out the 2000s with a soul hit! With a bunch of hot, muscular guys in tow as well. Are any of us surprised?

Does look like a bit of a boring nightclub, though. Where's the chick selling the jello shots? These guys definitely put the lie to the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign on the door of this club.

But is anybody complaining?

This song is actually a pretty good start to the decade, though I could do without the choreographed dance number. Until seeing this, actually, I didn't realize how few of the one-hit wonders of the 90s actually had these types of dance. You would think that would have been all the rage, what with Michael Jackson and all.

The video's not bad either, what with a couple of hot chicks, some really smoking-hot guys for the ladies, and enough leather to keep a Montana ranch in business for a year (Bessy's not very happy about that, though)

I think she'll get over it.

2) M2M: "Don't Say You Love Me" (#21) (January 8, 2000)

I'll bet you didn't know that Disney was producing child pop stars before Hannah Montana, did you? Ok,they weren't produced by Disney, but evidently this song got a *lot* of play on Disney radio after it hit big with the first Pokemon movie (yet another frenzy that I just don't understand)

Aren't they a little young to be dressing in hot leather pants, though? Ok, ok, I know. Teenagers and all that.

These two girls were fairly big in Europe for a couple of years, but this was their only US hit, and probably because of the Pokemon movie. Otherwise, they would never have popped their heads up on these shores.

What about the song? It's the typical bubble gum pop that is all over the genre. Rather boring, but flavoured like, well, bubble gum for the teenage masses.

I wonder how many parents in that crowd were looking at their watches by the end of that song?

Reason #1305 why I don't have kids.


3) Eiffel 65: "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" (#6) (January 29, 2000)

I love this song!

And looking at the video and looking at this song, I really can't tell you why. But it's just got an infectious dance beat that burrows into my soul, grabs my heart and brain, and demands "LIKE ME!!!!"

You know what? I think I'm convinced. Against my better judgement.

Besides, the blue guy's so cute. Much cuter than these blue guys.

Ok, that one's pretty hot, but I'm thinking more of these.

Excuse me while I go change my pants.

4) Filter: "Take a Picture" (#12) (February 5, 2000)

(Damn you, Rhino! Embedding Disabled????)

This is kind of a catchy song (no, not "catching," though I am feeling a bit faint right now). It definitely has that early 2000s feel to it, though. A little bit of hard guitar and scratchy voice and all of that.

And supposedly there's actually a reason for this song! From Wikipedia (that impeccable source):

"Filter's frontman, and founding member Richard Patrick has said that the song is about him getting drunk on an airplane, taking off all of his clothes, and fighting with the flight attendants who tried to stop him. This would account for the introductory, and later-repeated, lyrics: "Awake on my airplane, awake on my skin is bare, my skin is theirs.""

Ok, that thought just makes me want to...well, you just don't want to know.

But I'm cancelling my next plane ticket if he's on the flight...

5) J-Shin (featuring LaTocha Scott): "One Night Stand" (#34) (February 26, 2000)

Oh no, that old "baby from a one night stand" horror story! J-Shin really wants to make sure that you wrap it up!

I do have to say, if she was wearing those clothes at this supposed "night club" they met at, I'm surprised *anybody* would hook up with her. I'd have trouble looking at her without laughing.

And should she really be singing in the "I don't know if it's mine" part? If it's not yours, lady, whose is it?

The song is kind of "eh," really, though it does highlight the dangers of going out and cheating for a one night stand.

Why do I think these three are going to be appearing on the Maury Povich show soon?

6)Hoku: "Another Dumb Blonde" (#27) (March 11, 2000)

(Yay, Vevo!!!)

Wow. Um....I really want to keep watching this video, but I really want to turn the sound down. God, what a voice! And that's not a compliment.

Ok, now I don't want to watch that supposed to be dancing? Really?

Hoku (daughter of Don Ho) is another of those Nickolodeon/Disney/ultra-annoying teeny-bopper type singers that just grates on adult nerves.

Yes, I know we're not the target audience. But you're not the blogger who has to listen to this.

You can turn it off at any time. Me? I have to keep listening to the end.

Just for the record, because I know you turned it off a while ago, it doesn't get any better. I feel like my IQ's dropped 30 points, my musical taste has been battered until it's bloody, and it makes me really want to go on a rampage.

What? Oh, a rampage of love, I meant! Yes, a rampage of love. I'll just try and make sure I don't meet up with LaTocha Scott...

(this is a reading comprehension and reference test, to catch any of you skimmers)

7) Blink-182: "All the Small Things" (#6) (March 25, 2000)

(Yay, Vevo!!!)

These guys are one-hit wonders? But, but...they're everywhere!!!!

Yes, that old "only one song on the main chart, but a huge number of hits on the Alternative Rock chart" trick (I always fall for that one).

And thus, I remember why they annoy the hell out of me.

And to top it all off, we get butt crack!!!!

My morning is complete.

I have never wished more for a meteorite to hit a certain spot in my life. But sadly, I am always disappointed.

Oh no! I think somebody else just heard this song!

8) Tracy Lawrence: "Lessons Learned" (#40) (April 8, 2000)

(this is literally the only video of this song I could find)

Uh oh! We have more country invasion! They're still trying to get into our home.

I shall, however, refrain from saying anything else, due to certain sensibilities.

I actually kind of like the song, but once again there's really no reason why this would make the jump to the pop charts and not any of his other ones. It's got the same twang, the same country accent.

We're just lucky, I guess.

And there you have it! Week one of the series that will be so regular that you will no longer need fiber in your diet (though I guess if you *must*, it probably wouldn't hurt). Why do you need wheat cereal when you've got me?

And I'm much more fun at parties, too.

So be safe this week, and I will be back here next week, same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel. (but with much different Bat-Underwear).

Until then, I'm off! I've got some grocery shopping I gotta do today.

I swear they moved that door since I was there last.

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28
Part 29
Part 30
Part 31


  1. What can I say? I knew one artist out of 8. I'm sure you can guess who. Number 1 I couldn't get to play. 2 & 6 were kind of cute. 7 was awful. 4 was dumb & way too long. Guess I didn't like much this week. Surely the weeks will get better. LOL

  2. YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! I still get down to Blue (#3). Awesome beat. Nice video with it to.

    Now, this will TRULY BE *my decade* to listen to the great (and not so great) one hit wonders of my generation.

    Thanks for taking time out of your schedule each Sunday, Dave to bring back some wonderful memories of a child/teenhood past.

  3. @Mom: I'm not surprised you didn't really like any of them, actually. :P

    I'm hoping they do get better, but it wasn't *too* bad so far.

    @pr0udmom: You're very welcome! It's regular readers like you all who make it worthwhile, as they're the posts that take the longest to do. If I wasn't getting any feedback for them, they might stop.

    Hope you enjoy the next number of weeks (have no idea how many this one will take).

    And glad the lame-ass humour doesn't turn you away from it. :)

  4. Oh, and I don't think the video I posted of "Take a Picture" is the main radio edit of the song, so don't hold the length against it.

    There's lots of other things to hold against it, though. :)

  5. I wasn't really listening to too many things from 2000 on, so don't think I'm going to know a lot of these songs. I only know #3, #4, & #7.


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