Yes, the offices of One Hit Wonder Inc are now back and fully operational.
But you know. I...well, I kind of lied earlier. It wasn't an Internet outage that caused me to think there wouldn't be an episode this week.
No, it was a bomb threat!
Not that kind of bomb! (stupid interns...must still be nervous)
It was *this* kind of bomb.
The bad guys sure are a colourful bunch, aren't they?
Anyway, we couldn't afford this guy:
so we got this guy in to defuse the bomb and get rid of all the bad guys.
They all keeled over, dying of laughter. It was easy to defuse the bomb then.
So we're back, with Week 17 of the one-hit wonders of the 2000s!
As usual, you can see where I'm getting these from here.
But don't look ahead of me. I might have to do something drastic.
Here we go!
1) Bo Bice: "Inside Your Heaven" (#2) (July 9, 2005)
Jesus comes to American Idol!!!
This stuff's going to be happening more and more, I think. Both Bice and Carrie Underwood sang this song and released it (she was the winner, the same year Bice was the runner-up). Both songs hit at or near the top of the charts (Underwood hit #1 while Bice hit #2).
It's all just so confusing! The only reason Bice is here and not Underwood is because for her, this song actually led somewhere.
Not that Bice has tanked or anything. He's toured a few times, done his own thing with his own acoustic songs, released a couple of CDs that I'm sure fans could find if they really wanted to.
Oh, and then he topped it all off by walking across the Mississippi river.
Just because he could.
2) Natalie: "Goin' Crazy" (#13) (July 16, 2005)
Evidently, feeling a little lonely gives you license to be rude. Good to know!
This is a really pretty song, and Natalie has a great voice. It's too bad that she kind of went south after this song.
And you know your Q-rating isn't the greatest when this appears on your Wikipedia page:
"Natalie will be featured in a DVD movie to be distributed by Warner Brothers DVD in 2008, title to be announced soon."
In 2011. Yes, it hasn't been updated in 3 years, at least.
Somebody needs an editor!
Though hopefully not the same person who edited this newspaper.
This person would die on Twitter.
3) Papa Roach: "Scars" (#15) (August 6, 2005)
Some rock and roll! Awesome! And tattoos, too. Can't get enough of those. I love how they tied the musical performance and the video content together! I know, if my house burns down, the first thing I'm going to do is set up the instruments and sing my heart out.
Papa Roach was the lead singer in The Roaches family band, but Papa & Momma had a falling out. Seems she had an affair with Uncle Roach and he kicked her out of the band.
Then the egotist decided to name the band after himself. The nerve!!!
4) Lil Rob: "Summer Nights" (#36) (August 6, 2005)
Oh no!!!! More rap!!!
What a way to ruin a Summer night!
And it's not even good rap.
This is the kind of party Rob seems to be talking about:
This is the kind of party this song makes me want to hold.
(Thanks to On the Button)
Yes, I would rather spend my time with them than with you.
I do some mean magic tricks, too.
Hey, look! I went this entire entry without making a punctuation joke.
5) D.H.T.: "Listen to Your Heart" (#8) (August 20, 2005)
(I have a feeling it was this version that hit the charts)
All right! Covering a Roxette song. That's stretching for you.
Did this song really need to be jazzed up? I guess if there's no techno beat, it can't survive in any kind of dance club.
Heaven forbid there's actually any *real* music in a club! The customers would all file out in droves.
Assuming they came in the first place.
D.H.T. released an acoustic version later that same year.
Which one do you like better? (and yes, some of you I can already guess)
The original is one of the few "Trance" style songs to become a hit in the US. I'd never even heard of that style.
You learn something new every day!
Can I go home now?
6) Gorillaz: "Feel Good Inc" (#14) (August 20, 2005)
Wow, talk about surreal! My mind is literally blown.
And I do mean literally. I'm typing the rest of this just because my body is on autopilot.
He's not a very good one, either!
Don Quixote's greatest fear: moving windmills.
And then the rappers come in an ruin what had been a good song.
If you can ignore the rap interlude, then this is a really great song. Too bad the rap is like a big zit.
And you can't pop them, either! At least since the big East Coast-West Coast war ended.
There you have it! The year 2005 is moving along swimmingly, and the music isn't even that bad, for the most part.
Ok, I wasn't totally serious there. But there have been some good ones mixed in with the bad!
It's not a total failure. Not like these guys, anyway.
But now I'm off to start my Sunday. Finally!
Now to head to my day job.
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One Hit Wonders of the 2000s