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March 13, 2011

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 14)

I'm having a little trouble getting motivated today. Not sure exactly why. The Canucks just completed a 5-0 road trip and are coming home to play on Monday. It's a beautiful day outside (if you're into grey, gloomy, and rainy), and I feel like I'm the King of the World.

Ok, maybe that's it.

I'm just so damned awesome that the power of my awesomeness is overpowering me. It's like a vicious circle. The more awesome you are, the more pressure there is to be EVEN MORE AWESOME. And then, when you succeed at doing that, then you have to be more awesome than that even.

Really, the pressure's killing me.

But I shall persevere!!!

Because I'm awesome that way.

It's time for this week's edition of the the one hit wonders of the 2000s! That hive of hilarity, that lip balm of lunacy, and that smorgasbord of smiles! (angry at all the alliteration yet?)

Looking ahead to 2004, there are only 13 songs, so only two weeks of entries! And only one of them really looks that good, though they might surprise me.

Get ready for a rollercoaster ride!

Yes, we're going to Great America. What, you thought I was talking about the songs?

As usual, you can find the list here.

(warning, one of the songs has a bad word in the title! If that offends you and all...)

Here we go!

1) Nick Cannon: "Gigalo" (#24) (January 10, 2004)

This is not a good way to start a Sunday morning (not to mention a year!). I'm still groggy from sleep, and this is what wakes me up?

They should really sell alarm clocks with Nick Cannon as the alarm. That would make people get up really quickly!

Especially if they disable the snooze button.

2) Eamon: "Fuck it (I Don't Want You Back)" (#16) (February 21, 2004)

Eamon - Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back) by thereal24

(Language warning, if the title wasn't a dead give-away)

Wow. Was expecting a rap song!

This would be a kind of sad song if, you know, it wasn't for the language and everything.

And the "ho" comments.

It's a shame, because it's got a great beat, and I love the chorus in the background (you know, over the "You gave him head" comment)

This is like Taylor Swift's "Back to December" if it was written by Lenny Bruce.

Really, Eamon. You're not showing yourself to be a real catch in this song anyway. I think she's better off too.


See? I've got an expert that agrees with me.

3) Hoobastank: "The Reason" (#2) (June 19, 2004)

(Yay, Vevo!)

Wow! A song I've heard! And remember! And get excited about!

No, sorry. Not excited. Just like exclamation points. I'm better now.

What a sad video.

Way to look sad, guy, when she gets hit by the car. Don't even reach out and shout "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" or anything like that.

Can I have one of those sedatives?

Oh! That's why! Never mind.

Ok, so you do a really nice (ok, a "not too bad") love song, and set it to a heist video? Is he saying that he's doing this for her? Because she wants the gem?

Now there's a sentiment! I will become a criminal for you!

Yeah, that's true love.

4) Yellowcard: "Ocean Avenue" (#37) (June 26, 2004)

(Yay, Vevo!)

Finally! A little rock and roll.

Gotta love being beaten up by a bunch of nuns on the street! Though admittedly, they were hogging the sidewalk.

What is this, Groundhog Day? This guy's no Bill Murray.

I don't know. Maybe it's the craptacular music we've been suffering through the last couple of weeks, but I *really* like this song.

And we have another heist video! Kind of. What, was 2004 the year of crime?

Yeah, there are lots of crimes against sanity on the Internet.

5) Mis-Teeq: "Scandalous" (#35) (July 10, 2004)

Mis Teeq: Scandalous by ocima7

Yes, this certainly is crime week.

And we've got the first one-hit wonder that seems to be in the vein of Destiny's Child. Only took 4-5 years!

This song is definitely good for a dance club, and it's not even *that* bad to listen to sitting at your computer in your underwear.

Though the video helps with that part.

I do have to wonder whether that guy is supposed to be dancing or having a seizure, though. Because it's really not obvious.

We've had a couple of good songs in a row! Somebody must be watching over me.

Though in actuality, it might be this guy.

Either way, I feel protected.

6) Diana DeGarmo: "Dreams" (#14) (July 17, 2004)

(Don't think there's a video for this one)

Has it been this long since we've had an American Idol star (though not winner)? I guess so. Either that, or the others have become 2 or more hit wonders (say that three times fast).

This is a pretty song, of course. So I shall ignore it.

What do you think of Steven Tyler as an AI judge? And I don't mean "artificial intelligence," though he does look a bit artificial, doesn't he?

How many of the singers has he hit on so far? Inquiring minds want to know. And what was the median age?

And there we have it! Week one of two in 2004, as we have a really lean year. I wonder why that is. Did artists either become big stars or never catch fire in the first place? There was no in between? I'm noticing a dearth of one-hit wonders in the 2000s so far. Maybe we'll only hit 20 episodes.

Hey! I heard that! None of you are getting your diplomas now.

Stupid students.

Anyway, I'm off to start my day. A little later than usual, but what can you do.

Got some moving to do!!!!

That window needed to be replaced anyway.

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28
Part 29
Part 30
Part 31


  1. Well another kind of poor week. Number 2 was probably the best & we can't get it in our country. Number 5 song had a good beat but video was kind of racy. By far the best was last. The girl had a good voice & the song was pretty.
    As for Stephen Tyler I think he;s creepy looking. Just my opinion.

  2. Seriously? Number 2? Did you mean a different song, or did you not read the title? LOL

    Anyway, I changed the video for #2, so maybe you can get it this time.

  3. “They should really sell alarm clocks with Nick Cannon as the alarm. That would make people get up really quickly! Especially if they disable the snooze button.”
    OMG Dave…. Just too hilarious!

    “Now there's a sentiment! I will become a criminal for you! Yeah, that's true love.” Or I’d be a martyr for you… like this new song by Bruno Mars my daughter likes (and I actually like too now that I’ve heard it a million times:)
    I'd catch a grenade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
    Throw my hand on a blade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
    I'd jump in front of a train for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
    You know I'd do anything for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
    I would go through all this pain
    Take a bullet straight through my brain
    Yes, I would die for you, baby
    But you won't do the same

    “I do have to wonder whether that guy is supposed to be dancing or having a seizure, though. Because it's really not obvious.” Okay, now I know where they come up with names for dances. Like “the twist, the bump, the pony…. “ This one is called “the seizure:)”
    Well, I’ve had my laughter fix for the day. Thank you Dave!

  4. I just meant that since I couldn't get the song or video it was probably the best of the bunch. I just went back & got it. It was pretty bad. You were right bit did have kind of a good beat but there was no reason to keep saying that word. The last song was still the best.

  5. LOL Debra, you are awesome!!!! Thank you for gracing my comments section and making this post even better. :)

    And Mom, I'm actually partial to the Ocean Avenue song, myself. :)


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