One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 18)

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you're running down the street naked, late for your driver's test, and people are throwing all sorts of food at you? You know, they hit you with strawberries, bananas, sushi (this is Vancouver, you know), and, most shockingly of all, rutabagas? And then you get so mad that all of a sudden you transform into a semi-truck cab and run them all down?

But then you finally get to the DMV and you promptly fail your driving test? "Too much blood on the hood" is one of the comments.

Is it just me?

I guess it is.

I did find a listing for this dream in Weber's "Dream Encyclopedia" (You know Weber, the guy whose motto is "Dreams are a window to the soul...and stop looking through it, you Peeping Tom. I'm naked here!" That guy?)

It's filed under the heading "Batshit Crazy."

Ok, I guess I'm the only one.

Why am I dreaming about stuff when I've got one-hit wonders to catalog? I don't know. I just know that I've got DEALS DEALS DEALS!!!

Yes, buy one bad song, you get the second one free! I have to be crazy to give you a deal like this!

Hence the dream.

Whoa. My mind's blown now.

Anyway, on to this week's show!

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here. I'm not even going to threaten you or anything for looking ahead. Some idiot emailed me and actually said that threats are...illegal or something.

So I tracked him down and gave him a wedgie.

Here we go!

1) Teairra Mari: "Make Her Feel Good" (#35) (August 27, 2005)



You know one way to *not* make a girl feel good? Stalk her and chase away any guy that looks like he might be interested in her.

That would do it!

You can also make her pay for her own meal on your first date. But that may only work for certain women.

This song actually has an infectious beat, but I've got repetitive thumping *and* repetitive lyrics rolling through my head like a freight train. I think I should see a specialist about this.

Yeah, um, that didn't work. It's still there.

2) The Click Five: "Just the Girl" (#11) (September 3, 2005)


The Click Five - Just The Girl by AtlanticRecords

The band name sounds like a web advertising company, doesn't it?

I really dislike those videos where a band pretends that they're so fricking popular that people are dying in stampedes because people are so desperate to see them.

Yeah, those crowds lasted, didn't they? That's why they're on this list.

I also love the definite article in their name. Adding "The" to your band name just boosts you from "ho-hum" to "stardom!" For about 6 months, maybe.

I guess that's enough for some people.

I don't know. Am I just grumpy? Is this just a knee-jerk reaction to what's hot? Like my total antipathy toward haggis?

You be the judge.

3) Weezer: "Beverly Hills" (#10) (October 8, 2005)



(Yay, Vevo!)

This is actually their only "hit?" Then why was that Happy Days video getting so much airplay when it came out?

Ah yes. This video came out back when Hugh Hefner was actually very slightly relevant. Instead of the total irrelevance he has now.

You know, I never understood the total hatred of Weezer that I kept hearing about, mainly because I really hadn't heard any of their songs.

Now?

I have seen the light!

That's my reaction too. Damn, these guys suck. Nothing can save this one.

Believe it or not, I actually *sort of* liked this song when it came out.



I was a truly sad man back then.

So I thought I would inflict that sadness on you too.

Because I'm just such a great guy!

4)Trina: "Here We Go" (#17) (December 3, 2005)


Trina feat Kelly Rowland - Here We Go by foxysoul

(bad language warning *and* angry woman warning - you decide which is worse)

You know, the "blah blah blah blah" part about half-way through is probably the best part of the song!

We've also got yet another repetitive song, too. I swear that I'm getting hypnotized by it.

Which I think must be part of Trina's plan for world domination!

It's too bad, though. I can already tell her it doesn't work. It didn't work for me. Then again, I'm not as hot as her, so there you go.

5) Cast of "Rent": "Seasons of Love" (#33) (December 17, 2005)



(this is from the movie, but it is the right song)

I can't say anything about this song, or else I'll be getting a visit from a couple of rough-looking guys.

(Thanks to Pinnland Empire)

So I'll just say...um, next!

6) Purple Ribbon All-Stars: "Kryptonite (I'm on It)" (#35) (December 31, 2005)



(language warning)

And what a way to end the year!

If this song came on at my New Year's party, I'd have to do this:

Yeah, if I have to suffer, so do the other guests.

So we come to the end of another year. Only four more years to go!

After these songs, it feels like it took four years to do this entry.

Or maybe that was the screaming cat.

The songs aren't really getting any better, and neither are the jokes! But we shall carry forward into 2006 with our head held high!

Not to mention the middle finger...just in case.

It's Sunday, though, and time to get this day started.



I'm feeling *very* pitted right now.



One Hit Wonders of the 2000s
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28
Part 29
Part 30
Part 31