It's Mom's Day! Happy Mom's Day to all the good mothers out there, and most importantly to one of the most prominent moms out there!
What's that? She's been dead for over 75 years? And hardly anybody now knows who she is?
Well, knock me over with a feather and tickle me with a barbell. I had no idea.
Anyway, why do moms and dads get the short end of the stick? All of the other holidays are during the week and give us time off work. Why not these days? Ok, Easter is on a Sunday, but that couldn't be on any other day. Celebrate the parents! I want more work holidays!
No, I'm not being selfish whatsoever.
Ok, maybe a little. Besides, that kid called me names, so he doesn't deserve it anyway.
But a diatribe about holidays is not what you're here for, is it? Yes, you're here to have that painful, itchy rash looked at.
But I'm not a doctor.
So you're also probably here for more one-hit wonders!
As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here.
And I don't really care if you take a look ahead of me or not. I will, however, be very disappointed in you.
I think that's a very "mom" thing to say, eh?
Here we go!
1) Brooke Hogan: "About Us" (#33) (August 26, 2006)
C'mon, Brooke. Do we really need somebody *in your video* telling us how hot you look? Think highly of yourself, eh? And at least, if you're going to do that, get a non-loser to do it.
A minute in and we finally hear her voice!
This video is typical of the genre, with hot ladies dancing, lyrics *about* hot ladies dancing, and bad rapping in the middle of it too.
In other words, nothing much to sneeze at.
You know what *is* worth sneezing at?
This helpful hint brought to you by your Uncle Earl.
2) OK Go: "Here it Goes Again" (#38) (September 23, 2006)
Nerds dancing on treadmills! I already like this video.
It really should have a disclaimer, though.
No, not a "this music sucks" disclaimer, as I actually quite like the song.
More like a "Don't try this at home. These are nerds doing these treadmill tricks, and the world will not miss them if they mess it up. But you should know better."
3) Blue October: "Hate Me" (#31) (October 7, 2006)
I'm dying to make fun of this song, but I can't. While it starts out slow and then turns loud and abrasive, it's also an incredibly sad song about a man who has made his mother's life a living hell for so long, and he realizes it. He wants to remove himself from her life so that she can live without having to worry about him all the time.
But it's too late.
Actually, I'm not sure if the final lunch with his mom means that he was visiting somebody else's grave, or whether he's just reflecting back on a prior experience.
I'm so confused. And you wouldn't like me when I get confused.
No, that's me when I get angry. This is me when I'm confused.
I'm sorry you had to see that.
4) Snow Patrol: "Chasing Cars" (#5) (October 14, 2006)
Wow, a song I know!!!!
Not a bad one, either, though the video does seem to be a tutorial on how to get in the way. But whatever floats your boat.
Two depressing songs in a row, though? I don't know if that's a good thing for Mother's Day, so how about some high comedy?
Yes, I did mean that literally.
5) Jibbs: "Chain Hang Low" (#8) (October 21, 2006)
Trying hard to be nice on this special Sunday. Must....lower.....snark.....content.
I think I'd rather go here than listen to this song.
Though with my luck, they'd be piping it through the speakers.
*LOWERING SNARK CONTENT - FAILED*
6) Heartland: "I Loved Her First" (#34) (October 28, 2006)
(There's nothing in the last 20 seconds. Feel free to stop the video)
From Rap to Country! At least this song is listenable. It's also quite beautiful.
But what's with all the tearjerkers today? It's either that or crap? Which is tear-inducing in its own way.
Me? Nah, I'm immune to these types of songs.
Seriously. There's just something in my eye.
7) Mario Vazquez: "Gallery" (#35) (November 11, 2006)
Another American Idol singer! Though he dropped off the show once he reached the finals. Went his own way.
And he's had one hit.
Well, you can't have everything.
You know, the guy she's with must be pretty dumb. Considering how much she's looking at Mario in the bar, and he just doesn't seem to notice. Or care.
Maybe that's what Mario's singing about.
But you'd think he'd be pissed off. Or something.
Maybe his mind is busy with other things.
That could keep him occupied for the rest of his life.
And there you have it! We're now done with 2006.
Whoa! That went off prematurely. I'll have to see somebody about that.
Anyway, onward and upward to 2007! Hopefully there will be something to get excited about.
But probably not.
Now it's off to start my Sunday.
Thankfully it was a wrong number.
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