It's a sunny Sunday morning here in Vancouver. The sun really can be a foreign concept here. It actually once tried to claim asylum but we said no.
I don't know what we were thinking.
But you know what also brings out the sun in your day?
No, not this.
It's the weekly one hit wonders post!
That bastion of banality, hodge-podge of hilarity, and loofah of laziness. (Alliteration is ageless).
It's also getting into the Christmas season. Don't get so wrapped up in the holidays...
that you forget to do something good for yourself.
Like reading this blog! Your happiness quotient will skyrocket if you do that!
Don't make me beg.
We're in the second week of the 2000s, and I have to say that I'm not overly impressed. But we'll see how it goes!
You can find the list I'm taking these from here.
Here we go!
1) Sonique: "Feels So Good" (#8) (April 22, 2000)
Sonique isn't much for the dance moves, but she's clearly having fun, so I can't really blame her.
That's quite the interesting club she's playing at. Is the state of undress in there normal? Or is that just part of some guy's male fantasy (which is weird, coming from a woman like Sonique)?
I'll bet you didn't know that Sonique was part of that whole "mystical DJ" phenomenon of the early 2000s, where they could do anything, fire magical bolts from their fingertips, and pretty much double as DJ and bouncer for any club.
Oh look. Here's one of them now.
I think he plays at the old folks home down the street. I heard he does a mean MC Hammer too.
2) 504 Boyz: "Wobble Wobble" (#17) (May 6, 2000)
(Language Warning: this one's uncensored)
Oh no! It's the first rap one-hit wonder of the 2000s!
Give me some misogyny!!! You know how I like it.
3) Carl Thomas: "I Wish" (#20) (May 13, 2000)
Carl Thomas-I wish
Uploaded by lachula. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.
(Embedding disabled? Ugh.)
Why do soul songs always have to have the singer doing everything except having sex? These singers are extraordinary make-out artists! I guess it gives a bit of...physical appeal to the videos. But can we move on to something different?
Are they dancing to his song in this nightclub? Cool! I wonder if they realize the singer is standing right there, looking all depressed and stuff. Well, he is singing, so maybe they do realize. You'd think he'd be mobbed, though.
This is actually quite the sad song, and once again shows the danger of a one-night stand. In this case, it leads to an affair (I assume, since he's so broken up, that they've been together more than once).
It seems that one-night stands were a problem in the early 2000s. I wonder why that might be. Must be because I was off the market.
I would make a Fatal Attraction joke here, but it hasn't been long enough. The humour statute of limitations has not expired yet.
Or, in other words, you might remember it and say "Dave, you're being lamer than usual!"
To which I would say "How is that possible?"
4) Mary Mary: "Shackles (Praise You)" (#28) (May 13, 2000)
Now *there's* the solution to traffic jams!!! Get out of your car and dance! We're not moving anyway.
Complete with police officers putting up "no bad dancing" signs on the perimeter, attached with yellow police tape.
Sadly, some people don't listen.
You'd think, with ears like that, they'd be able to hear better.
It's nice to see a very religious song succeed like this, and have such a great beat too! I feel...very lifted.
And separated, too.
5) Macy Gray: "I Try" (#5) (May 20, 2000)
I will refrain making a joke about Gray's voice, because too many people already have.
I like to be unique. Just like everybody else.
This is actually kind of a good song, though it was way overplayed at the time and I grew to hate it.
And I'm confused. Was that all part of her fantasy, that missing and wanting love has driven her to fantasize about having a man wait for her?
Sometimes these videos are just too subtle for me.
No matter what hits me upside the head.
Though music videos are obviously less painful.
6) Alice Deejay: "Better Off Alone" (#27) (June 3, 2000)
Alice Deejay - Better Off Alone
Uploaded by martin1976. - Explore more music videos.
(Ebedding disabled again? Argh!!!!)
Ohhhh! I recognize this song now! I didn't know the name of it.
Somehow, I don't think the guy at the beginning of the video is better off alone. But that might just be me. I think this metaphor has a huge sign on it.
No! I meant "PAY ATTENTION TO ME! I'M IMPORTANT!"
That kind of big sign.
Though now I'm hungry.
Anyway, are they only showing Alice's most important part in this video?
Her lips! That's what I meant! Get your mind out of the gutter.
I don't want any company.
This is a good song for a dance club. I could see myself dancing to it.
But it is painful to listen to outside of that.
7) Westlife: "Swear it Again" (#20) (July 1, 2000)
Wow, he's handsome.
Oh no! One of these guy groups! Well, I'd say "boy bands," but these don't really look like boys.
It's the same concept though. Just take N Sync and add the ability to shave.
"Hey, quit flicking my ear! I'm trying to be deep here!"
Actually, I take that "shaving" comment back. I don't see a whisker on any of these guys! I'd change all that, but that would require, you know, editing and such.
A foreign concept!
Is the fact that they're all standing in little squares as they're singing supposed to be a metaphor for the confinement they're going to end up feeling because they're committing? If so, I like the subtle touch!!!
And there you have it. Week 2 of the one hits wonders of the 2000s is in the books! And when I say "in the books," I really mean it.
I'm using this as a tax write-off.
Are you impressed yet? I know I am.
I honestly thought the new Millennium would bring change! But sadly, no.
Ok, there is this.
But other than that, I don't see much.
Next week will be better, though! I guarantee it. Kind of. Actually, I have no idea (which is pretty much the standard for this blog, actually).
Until next time, my friends, faithful companions, and other assorted readers, it's time for me to start my day.
Sadly, nobody ever lets me finish.
One Hit Wonders of the 2000s