Find me online!

twittergoogle plusemail

January 9, 2011

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 6)

It's the second episode of the new year! I hope your new year has been a good one so far, and didn't go from this

to this.

(Thanks to GotSmile?)

And if it did, who's fault is it, really? I mean, were you expecting sympathy or something? This is a humour post! I would more likely do this

Seriously, though, I hope you're having a good one so far. Now that the holidays are over, the interns at the One Hit Wonders office are back to their normal selves.

I may have to keep a closer eye on these people, actually.

Anyway, it's time for this week's edition of the One Hit Wonders of the 2000s! The weekly wagfest that has a modicum of mediocrity and the hammy humour that we all know and love.

Well, *I* love it anyway. And that's all that matters.

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here. And you know what? I don't even care if you look ahead. Go ahead, I dare you.

Ok, I've just *really* dated myself with that joke...

And here we go!

1) 3LW: "No More (Baby I'ma Do Right)" (#23) (April 7, 2001)

(Yay, Vevo!!!)

More kids!!! And good lord, what is that voice? Did they have Autotune back then? Because that is some serious distortion. And the second girl isn't much better, though at least it seems natural.

Damn, I hate it when the girls I spraypaint on the cement come to life! That's just...freaky or something.

I'm not against teen singers or anything (I was a huge fan of Debbie Gibson, back in the day....

ahhhhhh, Debbie....ahem. Sorry.

But six episodes in, I'm feeling a combination of teen angst and bubblegum poisoning right now. Yeah, right, here...on my left deltoid.

It's a very specific poisoning.

2) Jessica Andrews: "Who I Am" (#28) (April 7, 2001)

(Yay, Vevo!!!)

That's one tiny bedroom in that apparently big house. I guess her parents wanted more room in the rest of the house, delegating the successful kid to basically solitary confinement (though it's a nice bed).

And we have another kid! A Country kid, but a kid nonetheless (they don't grow up any differently down south).

Still, it's good that she's so self-reflective at the age of 17. How many teenagers can you say that about? Most kids' self-images are pretty bad, but she's got a good head on her shoulders.

Though I suppose you could ask: did we really need to know all of this?

You know who we need to know more about? Britney Spears. I mean, we know next to nothing about her. She leads such a sheltered life. And I'm sure it's all very interesting.

She really should open up to us a little bit.

Ok, maybe not *that* much.

3) The Corrs: "Breathless" (#34) (April 7, 2001)

The Corrs-Breathless
Uploaded by albertulloamsn. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Words can't say how hot these women are, though maybe that's because I've been so inundated with jailbait that it's just nice to see somebody older.

The Corrs were big international stars (I first heard them when I moved up here to Canada), but they never really made it in the US. Not sure exactly why, because I love them to death. Then again, they did do a lot of Celtic music in addition to their Pop music, so maybe that's why. there a token guy in that band? I never noticed that. Geez, I wonder why that could be...

What a lucky guy that airport attendant is, though. He's just sitting there, minding his own business (not even working), and this sexy band drops in, sets up, and just starts playing. Just for him!!!

Oh, and those video cameras that were unloaded, but really, they're playing just for him.

You know that's what he's thinking. And then they seem to confirm it! Until the bikers show up. But wait, she's still interested in him? Must be the dumb look on his face.

They really aren't just teasing that guy, are they? That's just cruel. He looks like he's not capable of figuring that out.

Why do the dumb ones always get the chicks? Why can't the nerds?

Yeah, like that.

4) QB's Finest: "Oochie Wally" (#26) (April 21, 2001)

(Warning: Strong Language)

I guess it's been a while since we've had a rap song.

And then we get this shit.

Don't listen to this. I'm not. I'm just including it for those of you who *want* it.

If you do want it, keep listening. Stay really entranced with it, listening closely.

We've got somebody coming for you.

5) S Club 7: "Never Had a Dream Come True" (#10) (May 12, 2001)

This group was a huge hit in the UK, but for some reason never came over here (other than this song, sadly).

After seeing their discography on Wikipedia, I have to ask those of you in the UK...

What the hell were you thinking? Liking this Pop dreck? Number 1, number 2, number 2, number 2, hit after hit...

Was it something in the water?

Thankfully the national nightmare only lasted a few years, ending in 2003. I think this is what happened to them.

Their manager was named Robin, right?

6) Sunshine Anderson: "Heard it All Before" (#18) (May 12, 2001)

For somebody with a name like "Sunshine," this is kind of a depressing song.

Wow, there's nothing like a sassy, newly single woman to turn a guy on! She's really pissed, ain't she? She should head out to the clubs and she'll have guys falling all over her.

Then again, maybe it's him cheating on her, or maybe it's the fact that he doesn't appear to be fully in our universe. All of that flickering and everything, I think his dimensional stabilizer is malfunctioning.

Better get this guy on it!

And with that, I've lost all of my non-nerd readers. Sorry about that. The rest of us will have some fun together. Screw those people who couldn't stand it. We don't need them.


Ahem. Thank you.

As I was saying...

7) Tank: "Maybe I Deserve" (#38) (May 12, 2001)

Wow, sorry about the video quality. 240p???

This guy definitely went to the Minimalist school of home decor.

I always wonder about these songs that peak at #36-40. They make their appearance on the chart and then immediately fall off again. What was Casey Kasem thinking when he saw this? "This song's gone already? It wasn't really that good anyway."

I guess it does make you a one-hit wonder, in the same way that somebody with a #1 hit but nothing else is. You're part of a select group, even though your song didn't have anywhere near the success that the others did.

You're the wallflower at the party of one-hit wonders, while the successful ones are all out dancing and carousing, you're sitting by the wall thinking "I only got up to #38".

But at least you were invited to the party.

Where all the cool kids are.

Well, not as cool as this guy.

But that would be hard to top.

And there you have it! We're mid-way through 2001, and we've got bad R&B, kids, and a really cool song that I might be biased about.

Oh, and some Pop trash that continually made the MuchMusic annual Fromage list back in the day.

It really wasn't a good year, was it?

But I shall persevere! And if I have to, you have to.

So I'm off to start my day. I've got to go meet with one of my problem interns.

You know, I never seem to wear my shirt to the office for some reason.

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28
Part 29
Part 30
Part 31


  1. Oh come on, S-Club 7 weren't all that bad! :-D

  2. I could have sworn I responded to this, Captain! My apologies.

    And yes, they were. :P

  3. I remember #1 (I agree, their voices sucked, but I liked this song back in the days), #2, #3 (love, love, love this song!!!), & #4 (unfortunately...thanks a lot for bringing back songs I had put out of my mind). =P
    #5 sounds familiar but not sure.

  4. And you thought you wouldn't recognize a lot of these. :P


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.