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October 29, 2011

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s (Part 31)

Your eyes do not deceive you. You didn't have too much to drink at last night's party and are waking up to find something so unimaginable that you want to start drinking again. You are not in some parallel universe where somebody finally follows through on something they promised to do almost three months ago.

Ok, that last is true, except that you're not in the Bizarro universe or anything.

(Thanks to io9)

Before I tell you our tale of woe, let me introduce this concept to our new readers, including someone whose name I will not divulge (so she can deny it later, once she's read this, of course). We are counting down the list of the one-hit wonders of the 2000s, song by song, and making hilarious fun of them. For the most part.

(Note: That last sentence applied to both the "hilarious" and the "making fun" part of that statement.)

We here at One-Hit Wonder Inc have been taking an unscheduled hiatus since our previous episode, just when it was time to end the show! There is one episode left in the One-Hit Wonders of the 2000s, but certain things came up that had to be taken care of before we could finish.

(Thanks to Zazzle)

This kept all of us here at the company extremely busy. Especially this guy.

(Thanks to Telemarketing From Home)

Actually, we were basically all out partying while he fixed everything up (idle hands are the devil's stepchildren! Or...something like that). But the ladies in the office occasionally stopped by to make sure he had some downtime.

(Thanks to IGN's High Horse blog)

Sorry, that was when the IRS agents showed up.

They certainly look like happy employees, don't they?

Anyway, we're back, for the final episode of the One-Hit Wonders of the 2000s!

As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here.

And you know what? I don't care if you go look ahead, because this is the last episode. In fact, I care about that as much as this guy cares about getting the chicks.

And here we go!

1) The Ting Tings: "That's Not My Name" (#39) (August 8, 2009)

Making videos on the cheap! Lack of sets definitely helps the budget, doesn't it?

Hey lady, did you ever consider maybe wearing a name tag? Or being more clear regarding what your name actually is? I know I hate being called Stacey, or Rachel, or Jenny.

Then again, that might be preferable to my real name, Mr. Mxyzptlk

(Thanks to Sunset over Slawit)

Or you could call me by the name I go by at the clubs.

Mr. Hunk.

(Ladies, don't ever tell me I don't do anything for you)

Still, they went to all the trouble and expense of making this song and video, all because she gets tired of being called the wrong name?

Take an ad out in the paper.

(Thanks to Freakoutville Express)

Ok, now *that* sounds a little extreme.

2) Jessie James: "Wanted" (#40) (August 29, 2009)

She's flirting with the FBI guys! How audacious!

Something tells me they're not following her for the stolen money.

It's just a hunch, though.

That's kind of low, though. Using your feminine wiles to get the gas station attendant to come out and look at your car. Especially because it's already a full-service gas station!

Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.

Don't worry, guys. She's into handcuffs.

I actually kind of like this song, and not just for the obvious reasons (where was the music world before videos?). It's one of the few recent pop songs that I can see myself actually not turning off if it came onto the radio.

Other songs, of course, make me want to do this.

Explode with good music, I mean! You didn't think I was going to get icky or anything, did you?

3) Dorrough: "Ice Cream Paint Job" (#27) (September 19, 2009)

We couldn't end the year without at least some rap, could we? That would be like having a burger without the meat!

Wait, that came out wrong. It would actually be like having a burger *with* the meat.

Because it would be heavenly if we had no rap in our final episode.

Still, beggars can't be choosers. You can't always get what you want (but do we REALLY need this?). You take what comes to you. When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.

(Thanks to Adscam/The Horror)

Whoops! I guess I'd better quit while I'm ahead.

4) Breaking Benjamin: "I Will Not Bow" (#40) (September 19, 2009)

(I'll refrain from making an Obama joke here)

It's good to get a little rock and roll in the list, right before it ends! This is a palette cleanser after the last song. Ok, some of you may not think so, but I do.

Other than rent for the empty penthouse suite, and the usual money spent for their equipment, it's nice that they made the video on the cheap.

It lets them put the rest of their money into their clothes and tats!

5) Muse: "Uprising" (#37) (October 3, 2009)

Muse - Uprising (Clip) by WorMee

I didn't realize I knew this song until it started playing. Then, of course, it was obvious!

It's too bad the message of the song is so blatantly wrong, because the song itself (musically, anyway) is truly awesome to listen to. It really gets you into the groove, which I guess is its point.

I don't think we'll ever see any political accordion music.

(Thanks to SFGate)

Unless it's Devo, of course!

I do like one part of the video, though. If you're watching the video, pay attention for this near the end. If you're not, this is it.

(Thanks to


(and yes, I do realize the point they're making with that imagery. I just don't care)

6) Michael Franti & Spearhead (featuring Cherine Anderson): "Say Hey (I Love You)" (#18) (October 17, 2009)

Now *this* is an awesome song! A perfect blend of very sweet lyrics and catchy music that just gets you dancing in your seat.

(There is no truth to the rumour that this song made me have to buy a new chair)

In fact, I can't really joke about it, except that I hope I never get a barber like the guy at 2:42 in the video. Save your dancing for your own time! I don't want random razor cuts in my hair!

Unless it will get the ladies after me. Then go ahead and dance, brother!!!

7) Ester Dean: "Drop it Low" (#38) (October 31, 2009)

Featuring Chris Brown? Uh oh.

Oh no! Autotune!!!!!! I guess, this being the last episode and everything, we have to revisit every horror that we've experienced over the last 31 episodes.

It just won't die!

Just say to myself. I can do this. I can do this. I will not let it drive me crazy...

(Thanks to FunnyCartoonPictures)

Ok, I lasted less than a minute.


8) Owl City: "Fireflies" (#1) (November 7, 2009)

And we end 31 long weeks (if you don't count the hiatus) with a #1 song!!!! How fitting.

It's such a sweet song, too, though the video starts becoming quite surreal very quickly. That's ok, though. The guy adds a bit or normality to the whole thing.

Until the toys come to life, tie him up, and put him in the closet, that is.

Because you know they want this guy to take over the world.

He's worth more unopened, though that might inhibit his becoming emperor.

And there you have it! Much delayed, but we have finally come to the end of the one-hit wonders of the 2000s. It's been a long, arduous journey.

Yes, I did make the interns carry my suitcases. Hair care products weigh a ton!

Anyway, it's been a journey through horrible music, but some good stuff as well. I hope you've enjoyed these as much as we at One-Hit Wonders Inc have. To you newcomers, I encourage you to go through the archives and see what you've been missing!

I hope you'll still like me after doing that.

What's next for us here at the company? I don't know. We'll be thinking of re-inventing ourselves in some way. After we pay our tax debt to society.

I hope this guy's our cellmate.

But we'll be back one of these days. With something creative! And inspired! And, probably, bad. Though whether that will be the subject or the writing, I'll let you be the judge.

In the meantime, now that this is finally over, it's time for me to engage in my other passion.

I can come knock down your world record domino setup next. I charge good rates!

One Hit Wonders of the 2000s
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28
Part 29
Part 30
Part 31


  1. Good to see you back. Can't say much for the music though. I really didn't care much for any of them. (Sorry don't want to upset you). Sure wish you could do the 50's. We don't need videos,I never understand them anyway. It was just good music. I know you wouldn't have many one hit wonders, but at least we'd hear good songs. Oh well guess I just miss the music I grew up with. I'll wait for your next inspiration with baited breath.

  2. HEY! Whatchoo mean "introduce"? I've commented on this series before, many times. Maybe not lately. Probably the last time was when I informed you that you're not allowed to stop blogging after this series is finished. I remember that part clearly.

    Now, I recognized only two songs from this list. That either means I wasn't listening to radio much that year, or...something. I recognized the Ting Ting's one and that Fireflies horror. It haunted and pursued me everywhere I turned. Wormed its way into my noggin with a vengeance. I find that guy distressingly similar to the Polyphonic Spree - remember them? Yeah, unfortunately, so do I. When I listened to them, I would be suddenly gripped with the wild urge to bang my head repeatedly against some immovable object.

    So, there. I'm interacting and familiar. If, however, you did NOT mean me, disregard this ramble and carry on. ;-)

    - Dawnie

  3. Mom: I need something I can embed in a post, so I have to use a video. While you can embed audio files too, not that many songs come that way, and probably even fewer from the 50s.

    Dawn: LOL I wasn't talking about you. :) I have a friend here in Vancouver who just subscribed recently.

    Actually, I don't remember Polyphonic Spree. Must not have been paying attention. And the Fireflies song wasn't bad the one time I listened to it, but I can understand if it was way overplayed, how it would do that. It would get annoying really soon.

  4. If I begin to hear someone banging their head against a wall, or a desk, kind of faint and far off, then I'll know you've investigated Polyphonic Spree. Honestly, I don't recommend that you do. Your ears might start to bleed. :)

    - Dawn

  5. I will definitely take your advice and forego that experience.


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